NO GUARANTEES: UNIVERSITY SURPLUS SALE A JUNK DEALER'S DREAM

In an old brick building nestled between an abandoned fraternity house and what used to be a bank sit the things nobody seems to want.

Typewriters, out-dated computers, desks and other pieces of office equipment are thrown together with tubas, framed pictures and even street lights.

Tagged as "surplus personal property," upon first glance the items resemble little more than piles of junk. But they have the potential to bring thousands of dollars each year to Southeast Missouri State University.

Twice annually the university holds a surplus property sale. The second one this year began Tuesday and continues today at 228 N. Pacific Street.

You won't find any salespeople, price tags or warranty offers here. In fact, if you ask if an item works, you'll hear an honest, "I don't know."

"We don't guarantee anything," said Stephni Burks, project assistant with the university, who oversees the surplus property sales.

Burks explained that all of the items had been rejected by at least one department at the university. After it's offered to other departments, it is sent to the surplus warehouse, where it awaits the next sale. Anyone can submit sealed bids to the state, and the property goes to the highest bidder.

Each sale usually generates about $5,000 for the university, she said.

Because the bids are sealed, it's impossible to tell what the going price is for the ice-cream machine in the back of the room, or the pair of banged-up tubas blocking the path to the back door.

"Some things you think would bring in a lot of money don't bring much," Burks said. "But some people bid $1 on everything."

Want some advice on what to bid? "I never tell people what to bid," Burks said.

At the last sale, Burks said, someone snatched up six typewriters for $300. "I thought that was pretty high," she said.

While proceeds from the sale add to the university's bank account, Burks said the idea behind it is to get rid of as many items as possible, including the jigsaw, chalkboard and door frames.

"Some people never pick up the stuff after they bid on it," she said. Successful bidders are notified by mail to collect their newly-acquired property. "But that's what we're here for, to get rid of the stuff."

The next sale probably won't be scheduled until March, Burks said. But even though the current collection of word processors, weight benches and Dictaphones will be gone, more will come.

"After this," said university maintenance worker Kelly Keene as he surveyed the room with walls piled high with junk, "we just start filling it up for the next time."