MISSOURIANA

Nobody can be certain, but it seems logical to assume Al Gore won't be retiring to Florida anytime soon.

Most of us hate going to a doctor's office as much as failed political candidates hate going to a vocational counselor.

The negative effect of making no campaign promises is that winning candidates suddenly must start thinking.

Naming children after current events can be dangerous. A youngster named Chad faces the prospect of getting punched out.

If Hollywood makes a move about this year's presidential race, will Jim Carrey be able to handle both roles?

Scientists say it will be several years before Americans can safely vote by computers. By that time, they should also be better prepared for recount lawsuits.

Basically, a presidential election is simply granting someone the right to lease the White House for 48 months.