MISSOURIANA

In the unlikely event the Democrats reject Al Gore or the Republicans snub George W. Bush, there's always Harry Potter.

Between "Survivor" and "Big Brother," contemporary life in America hovers somewhere between roasted rats and televised bathrooms. Welcome to the new millennium.

Missouri's major highways are in such bad shape that the only possible solution is to stop all out-of-state traffic at the border.

President Clinton wants to leave a legacy of peace in the Middle East. He could warm up on Capitol Hill.

The Pentagon's $63 billion missile-defense test was a failure. As the old saying goes, "There's no such thing as a free launch."

Voters are getting more political commentary from Jay Leno and David Letterman than from Bush and Gore. And more informative too.