MISSOURIANA

One of the reasons Saddam Hussein gave in to U.N. demands was Madeleine Albright's hint that he might become the target of a Ken Starr investigation.

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Perhaps the most ambivalent person in America over the Iraqi agreement is President Clinton, who prefers news media attention on Hussein's sins rather than his own.

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Monica Lewinsky's lawyer says she only wants to return to the life she had before Kenneth Starr, which must mean the life she had with Bill Clinton.

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If Hillary manages the campaign to exonerate Bill like she did the effort to enact a new health-care system, Al and Tipper should get ready to move to Pennsylvania Avenue.

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The only noise coming from the Missouri Capitol these days is the sound of the moving lips of 197 state legislators reading hundreds of newly introduced bills and resolutions.

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The only reason some Missouri motorists read stories about road rage is to learn new tactics.