MISSOURI WATCH: EXACTLY WHEN DID WE STOP OBEYING THE RULES?

Many years ago, when I was a mere lad, I became well schooled in three parental admonitions: Eat everything on your plate, don't sass your parents, and obey all the rules. All my friends lived under the same, stern restrictions, and while we frequently conferred about the absence of generational equity, we also recognized that our parents' warnings, if followed, would keep us out of trouble.

As we grew older, and it was no longer necessary to order us to clean our plates, and after we had learned, much to our sorrow, that sassing one's mother or father was a dumb idea that had unfortunate consequences, the warning about obeying the rules seemed to be eternally permanent. The admonitions for advancing age included parental homilies on studying hard and staying within the speed limit when behind the wheel of the family automobile. But they still included the one about obeying the rules. Even when we went off to World War II.

Sometime, at some unspecified day and month, many parents stopped telling their children to obey the rules. Being neither sociologist nor child psychologist, I haven't the foggiest notion why this admonition seemed superfluous but it obviously was viewed with disdain if today's generation is judged with dispassionate eye. As a matter of fact, there is some evidence that the rule against disobeying rules has been out of print long enough to influence many of today's adults.

Sometimes it even seems a majority of the population is in some kind of fervid contest to see how many rules they can disobey in a 24-hour period. One need not look far for clear, concise proof. It is surprising how many adult drivers of both sexes have never learned the meaning of the word "Stop". Although drivers encounter such signs daily, most obviously believe it means to pause, to reduce only slightly their car's speed, and still others must comprehend its meaning as "Ignore" all signs. It is almost considered bad form to come to a complete halt at a sign reading "Stop" and I have sometimes been reminded of its antiquity by the horn of some pea-brained motorist behind me.

As for signs designating accessible parking for handicapped motorists, these are interpreted by many as an invitation to park, since the signs are regularly ignored, as are such signs as "Yield" and "Reduce Speed." Frankly, I don't understand the Republicans' insistence we ignore metric numbers on our highways, since we have such a great history of ignoring present posted limits, just as we overlook the no-trashing signs.

When I was growing up, the rules included tipping one's hat or cap to any female older than myself and holding doors open for every member of the fairer sex regardless of age. When I follow this rule, even at my advanced age, I am more often than not greeted with a surprised look and a mumbled "Oh, thank you" in a tone of voice that implies, "I wasn't expecting common courtesy." And why should she, since she encounters it so seldom?

I try to follow the rules when it comes to incorrectly dialed phone numbers, but I am always surprised when someone calls a wrong number and then becomes belligerent at the innocent party. The perpetrator is actually blaming the victim.

This lack of grace and willingness to follow the rules has unfortunately spilled out across the land. If you've been in a really large city recently, chances are you can cite a dozen or so examples. If you're writing a book on the subject, by all means visit New York City, where the practice has been honed to a fine art. It has even spread to our professions, where one finds it obligatory to apologize to physicians for having to extend assistance to the sick, while the proper name for people who antagonize a lawyer is defendant.

In no area of American life is the inclination to obey society's rules more needed and less prevalent than in politics. A vast number of public officials not only display disdain for regulations but have actually reached the ridiculous conclusion that they don't have to obey any of them. The courts have dealt with one state official who used public property for personal gain and another state official who ignored the rules to favor her own son. The rules against lying, cheating, fudging, slandering, libeling and extortion have become those ignored daily by a shocking number of public officials.

Maybe today's parents need to amend the old rules: Don't eat all the food on someone else's plate, don't sass anyone and obey all the rules even if you're having a bad hair day.

~Jack Stapleton of Kennett is the editor of the Missouri News and Editorial Service.