MISSOURIANA

Bill Clinton is the first Democratic president to win a second term since Franklin Roosevelt. Many Americans knew Roosevelt, and Bill's no FDR.

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Nearly a quarter of a million fewer Missourians voted this year than in 1992. That's the trouble with politics: The more you know about it, the less you like it.

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One of the advantages of being a losing coach at a state university is that you don't have to run for re-election every two years.

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A pessimist is someone who believes newly elected candidates won't perform any worse than their predecessors. An optimist believes the new candidates will resign before taking office.

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Ross Perot worries that he won't be able to qualify for federal funding in the next election. That's like a millionaire standing in a bread line hoping sponsors don't run out of caviar.

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Democrats express disappointment they didn't gain control of both houses of Congress. Voters know the advantage of a deadlocked federal government when they see it.