MISSOURIANA

A Missouri circuit judge says the formula the state uses to distribute money to local schools is unconstitutional. But don't worry ... it's nothing that can't be straightened out with an extra billion dollars in new taxes.

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The reason it's called the Super Bowl is because TV executives think it's super that the commercials are longer than the game.

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Former President George Bush says he plans to write a book about his long years in public service. Work will begin just as soon as he consults with Millie on how to write a best-seller.

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First Lady Hillary Clinton will direct the effort to revamp the nation's health care system. Until then, take two aspirin and call your banker before seeing a doctor.

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One of the reasons George Bush lost public support was because he reneged on his no-new-taxes promise. On the other hand, Bill Clinton is losing public support because he's keeping his promises.

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Sears announces plans to discontinue its big catalog after years of distributing it to millions of households. Next thing we know, Ford will quite making the Edsel and Chrysler will discontinue the DeSoto.