CITY WANTS TOBACCO COMPANY TO SHOW IT BOTH WAYS IN ADS

In the mixed-up world of health risks, common sense fights overwhelming odds to keep its head above water.

If you stir into this soup the tangled workings of advertising where logic has traditionally been among the philosophical homeless you have no hope of reaching any sort of understanding.

Maybe it's for the best: if we knew too much about product pitching, it would probably only hurt our heads.

You might recall a discussion in this space about the dilemma faced by brewers in selling their intoxicating wares. The folks who make beer have run smack into a popular movement against substance abuse, against drinking and driving ... essentially, against the reckless consumption of their product.

Two things are true about such a situation. One: as an industry, this is an ample meal ticket, one brewers would hate to see voided due to out-of-hand product popularity. Two: fighting wholesome groups (though grimly acronymed, MADD, SADD and the like) in their own backyard does little for corporate stature ... or ultimately the bottom line.

Thus, brewers opted for white hats. "Hey," they said, "we don't like heavy drinkers any more than you." Moderation became a corporate directive, at least overtly.

While advertising for subsidiary enterprises encouraged consumers to eat potato chips until their arteries hardened or visit theme parks until they fell face first into a seal tank, the beer makers were advising their patrons on the meaning and uses of the word "when."

Even stranger now comes the dilemma of cigarette manufacturers, who would welcome the mere caveat of moderation in their advertising.

Instead, the tobacco industry is banned from television and must display on its ads and packaging a disclaimer saying the U.S. government believes cigarettes cause every affliction but plague ... enjoy your smoke.

So we come to a quandary taking shape in New York City. Marlboro has sponsored a Grand Prix auto race in New Jersey for several years. Manhattan lured it away, beginning this year. It is cause for celebration in The Big Apple.

However, anti-smoking groups accused city officials of hypocrisy for courting a tobacco company in an attempt to win a tourist attraction while promoting a new law for limiting youth access to cigarettes.

In trying to ease concerns all around, the city and Phillip Morris arrived at this arrangement: of the 3,700 billboards and other signs that will be placed to promote the Grand Prix, 1,100 of them will be aimed at convincing young people not to smoke.

New York's deputy mayor said Monday that the tobacco company agreed the 1,100 advertising ~messages will explain the "perils" of smoking to youths.

Are you following this? Beginning in July, Marlboro will put in place 2,600 signs that demonstrate the appeal of a life breathing smoke, while simultaneously placing 1,100 signs that tell young people how bad such a thing would be.

And we wonder why the youth of our nation are so confused.

Though coming out 1,500 signs to the good in this agreement, ~Phillip Morris must feel a little weary from having to put such effort into disseminating both its virtues and faults. Thanks to the anti-smoking groups, things probably won't get easier for the cigarette makers.

Maybe, however, the compromises will keep coming. If the Grand Prix comes off as planned, the people at Marlboro might get the surgeon general to drive the pace car.