MISSOURIANA

Bill Clinton denies he's overly sensitive about his efforts to avoid the Vietnam War, but a staffer who suggested going out for a draft beer was fired.

---

The problem facing Al Gore is that, despite a declining number of spotted owls in some parts of the country, most voters don't really give a hoot.

---

Democrats plan to cite Arnold Schwarzenegger as the GOP's contribution to the "Hollywood elite" just as soon as they learn to spell his name.

---

The National Football League is not expected to cancel its promised expansion team plan until after Missourians make the last payment on the St. Louis stadium.

---

Governor Ashcroft wings down to Arkansas to criticize Govenor Clinton's environmental laxity in dealing with chicken processing plants. It's called wishbone campaigning.

---

The General Assembly's two-day "veto session" produced at least one veto: members decided to veto any attempt to override any of the governor's vetoes.

---

If this year's election is really about trust, we'd advise all of the candidates to check the help-wanted ads.

By Jack Stapleton Jr.