Former Cape mayor, business owner, 'family man' Paul Stehr dies at 87

Former Cape Girardeau mayor and beloved family man Paul William "Herk" Stehr died Monday, Aug. 28, at the age of 87.

His oldest daughter, Teri Hinkebein, said her father "peacefully passed away" in Charlotte, North Carolina, where he and his wife, Joan, moved to be closer to their daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

"Dad's health had been declining for a couple of years," Hinkebein said. "He had good days and bad days, and fought and fought and fought, which we would expect from him."

Hinkebein said her parents were "very reluctant" to leave Cape Girardeau, but they were very happy to be closer to their family. She said her family was thankful they did, because they had the gift of "really getting to know our adult parents."

Hinkebein said, during those last nine years in North Carolina, she and her sisters got a chance to learn a few things about their father they hadn't heard before.

She said they knew he was born March 30, 1936, and grew up in Cape Girardeau, which he was proud to call his hometown. They knew that at 8 years old he delivered newspapers for the Southeast Missourian, where his father, Rudolph Stehr, worked in the printing department.

Paul Stehr, far right, receives a trophy for Most Valuable Player after his team won the state basketball championship for Cape Girardeau Central High School in 1954. Also pictured, from left, Maurice Dunklin, Glenda Jones and James F. Miller.Southeast Missourian file

Paul Stehr, far right, receives a trophy for Most Valuable Player after his team won the state basketball championship for Cape Girardeau Central High School in 1954. Also pictured, from left, Maurice Dunklin, Glenda Jones and James F. Miller.Southeast Missourian file

And, of course, her dad had told them many times about how he played basketball for Cape Girardeau Central High School and his team won the school's first state championship in 1954, and that he had been named Most Valuable Player.

However, Hinkebein said, her father was a humble man, and they never knew how amazing he really was. She said they learned their father also played shortstop on the Cape Girardeau American Legion baseball team from 1950 to 1954 and won back-to-back state championships in 1951 and 1952. She said they also got to hear about how Stehr was an Eagle Scout and student body president and National Honor Society president at Cape Central.

One thing Stehr never got around to telling his family, not even his wife, Joan, was how he got his nickname, "Herk".

Don Koch, one of Stehr's lifelong friends and championship basketball teammate, said he might have an idea about that.

"Now this is hearsay, but I'm pretty sure it's the truth," Koch said. "In high school, Paul was one of these tall, lanky, skinny, little rascals, and he would stand in front of the mirror, and he would flex his muscles. I don't remember whether he called himself Hercules or all the other guys did, but that's how we all started calling him 'Herk', and it stuck for the rest of his life.

After high school, Stehr attended the University of Missouri on a U.S. Marine Corps Scholarship, where he continued to excel in athletics as a member of the school's basketball and baseball teams. He also reconnected with his high school girlfriend and love of his life, Joan Porter. They married shortly after graduation, and Paul began his career in the U.S. Marines, where he attained the rank of captain.

When they moved back to Cape Girardeau, Stehr opened a clothing and athletic store, The University Shop, located across from Houck Stadium.

Koch said he was not surprised Stehr served on the Cape Girardeau City Council and later as the city's mayor from 1978 to 1981.

"He was that kind of a guy," Koch said. "He wanted to contribute to helping make Cape Girardeau and the world a better place, and he never patted himself on the back."

Jay Knudtson, executive vice president of First Missouri State Bank and Cape Girardeau mayor from 2002 to 2010, said it was a "tremendous honor" to know Stehr.

"Paul Stehr was a humble and true gentleman," Knudtson said. "He was a phenomenal example of what a mayor should be like, who possessed tremendous sincerity and credibility and as such people trusted him."

Bob Herbst, a local real estate agent and former City Council member with Stehr, described his friend as a "straight shooter, hard worker, honest as the day is long, who wouldn't do anything that even smacked of impropriety."

Hinkebein said her father spent the later years of his career as an agent for Capital Insurance & Associates in Cape Girardeau.

Deborah Gross, a partner and office manager of Capital Insurance, said Stehr was a "great soul."

"I worked with him for probably 15 years or so, and he was the most genuine Christian gentleman I've ever met," Gross said. "Everybody just absolutely loved him."

Knudtson said he believed Stehr's best achievement was his role as a family man.

"I saw a man that just absolutely excelled as a husband, a father and grandfather," Knudtson said. "In the final analysis, I bet you that Paul Stehr would rather have somebody talking about him as a family man than as a mayor or business owner."

Knudtson's wife, Cindy, grew up with Stehr's daughter Teri and agreed he was "just a delightful dad."

"He was just sweet and great with all those girls," Cindy Knudtson said. "He always had a smile and was always a super understanding man, just pleasant to be around."

Stehr was also known as a man of deep faith. He and Joan were faithful members of Westminster Presbyterian Church, and Stehr sang in the choir and served as an elder.

Clarence "Dub" Suedekum, another friend since their days as Cape Central basketball teammates, recalled Stehr "took his Christianity very seriously."

"Paul is a great friend; you could always count on him," Suedekum said. "He was always willing to listen, and he was a sounding board for anything that you needed to talk about."

Hinkebein said that for her father, all his decisions, the way he fathered, everything revolved around his faith.

"In fact, we had his Bible out and he had circled the verse about 'Fathers do not provoke your children', and we got a big chuckle out of that," Hinkebein said. "He was a wonderful father, he was a wonderful mentor, and he loved my mom like no other. He was, in my eyes, almost a perfect human being."

Stehr is survived by his wife, three daughters, eight grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.

A memorial service was held Sunday, Sept. 3, at Ford and Sons Funeral Home on Mount Auburn Road in Cape Girardeau. Burial, with full military honors, was Sunday at Cape County Memorial Park Cemetery.