Reducing the pain, not adding to it

I was recently in Warsaw, the capital and largest city of Poland, to lead a seminar on helping people grow in Christ. But I was running a bit late. I had been in the church facilities before. So, I rushed up the stairs to the second floor where the training was to be held. When we lived in Ukraine, I was accustomed to the steps not being evenly spaced and tried to ascend and descend them a bit slower. Living now in Poland almost two years, I have gotten accustomed to the stairs here being well planned out and evenly spaced. But this was not the case with the top step. It was a little bit higher than the others. Consequently, as I bounded up the stairs, instead of landing solidly on the landing and moving on to my classroom, my right foot caught on that last step. I tripped and went falling forward, heading toward the hard tile floor.

I tried with all my might to catch myself. I did not want to land with a thud on that floor, especially since several of the conference participants were already gathered there in front of me. I was trying to get my legs back under me, but I was leaning so far forward that I was not having much success. The floor was rapidly approaching. I was heading for a very embarrassing and painful fall. Then, at the last minute, I saw motion in front of me, and a hand reached out for mine. One of the brothers standing there caught my hand just at the right time and pulled me upward. My feet suddenly were back under me, and I was standing there with that kind brother smiling at me. He asked if I was OK. And I replied that I was, thanks to him. I was able to gather myself and went on to conduct the six-hour seminar. I am so glad this brother saw what was happening and came to my assistance right when I needed him most.

Job suffered greatly when Satan was allowed to attack him -- not because of sin, but because of his faithfulness to the Lord. There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. And the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?" And the Lord said to Satan, "Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand." So, Satan went out from the presence of the Lord (Job 1:1,8,12).

When Job's friends heard of Job's suffering, they at first did the right thing. They came to him to comfort and support him with their presence. When Job's three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great (Job 2.11-13). However, in time, Job's friends began to compound his pain by rebuking him and calling his character into question due to their own self-righteous and judgmental attitudes. "I am a laughingstock to my friends. I, who called to God and he answered me, a just and blameless man, am a laughingstock. In the thought of one who is at ease there is contempt for misfortune; it is ready for those whose feet slip (Job 12:4,5). My friends scorn me; my eye pours out tears to God (Job 16:20)."

In the end, these "friends" are rebuked by God for criticizing Job and proclaiming a false understanding of God's nature and ways. After the Lord had spoken these words to Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite, "My anger burns against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has. Now, therefore, take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and offer up a burnt offering for yourselves. And my servant Job shall pray for you, for I will accept his prayer not to deal with you according to your folly. For you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has." So Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went and did what the Lord had told them, and the Lord accepted Job's prayer (Job 42:7-9).

Today we should be careful not to play the role of Job's friends in the lives of those around us. We should not rush to assume that their pain and suffering are due to their personal sins. This can be the case, but it is not always so. Their pain and suffering may be due to the sins of those around them or simply because we live in a fallen, sinful world. Instead of rushing to judgment, we should go to them and support them through our prayers and presence. We should be quick to listen and slow to give advice, recognizing our limited understanding of what is taking place and why. Overall, we must try to help them walk through the pain rather than adding to their pain through self-righteous and unfounded criticism.

I am so glad the guy in Warsaw did not react like Job's friends. If so, he would have let me crash on the hard floor, possibly breaking some bones in my body. Then he would have reprimanded me for not being more careful when climbing stairs. A man my age should know better than to run up a set of stairs. What was I thinking? He might have even added that he had never tripped on any stairs in his entire life, and that only careless people do so. That kind-hearted brother did none of this. Seeing my need, he reached a hand to help me and raised me back up. May we do the same for those people around us.

DAN UPCHURCH is a native of Bollinger County. He and his wife, Lori, have spent many years as missionaries in Ukraine and currently serve in Poland.