Guest commentary: A mother’s role in advancing shared parenting in Missouri

On this Mother’s Day, Missouri has much for which to be thankful. We became the fifth state to pass Shared Parenting legislation in 2023. Shared parenting advocates are pro-mom and dad! But they are especially pro-children!

Motherhood is a blessing to me, and I will readily admit that the challenges of working and nurturing children at home are hard to handle all the time. Of course, that’s the beauty of shared parenting, sharing those responsibilities. I have met so many women in the movement who are mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers and aunts. This movement couldn’t have had the success it’s had without women stepping up to the plate.

We all agree that the adversarial system of lopsided child custody orders is broken. It’s the system that needed fixing and with rebuttable presumption, we’ve taken a big step in fixing that system. Family courts should be family-friendly because divorce is not the end of the family; it’s just a rearranging of the family. We also all agree that children need and want great relationships with both parents and both extended families.

My mother will turn 100 in a week, and I honor her for her strength and goodness. When my father died, my mom was left with six children to care for. My five brothers and I, the youngest being 1 year old, were raised in a true single-parent household with help from God and family. That help came from both sides of the family. So I understand fatherlessness from personal experience. I understand the longing for father time that children have because I lived with that same longing.

Also, growing up with five brothers, although very challenging, gave me a unique experience and a soft spot for any injustice that men in general, but fathers in particular, have to face.

I understand how important mothers are also. My mom worked full time and got every one of us to our activities on time. She had food on the table, and every Saturday was house cleaning duties for all. She kept our family together, and I honor her for that.

I can remember many times when I was angry with my mother; I would say I wish my dad was here. She would always say she did too. She always told us how fine a man my dad was. So today on Mother’s Day, I want to thank my mom for giving me only good thoughts when it comes to my dad. I also want to encourage other mothers and fathers to do the same. Because even though no parent is perfect, they are perfect for their children.

Growing up thinking my father was the best kind of man gave me comfort and helped me immensely with my own well-being. Children need to believe in the goodness of their parents.

Happy Mother’s Day, ladies! Sit back, enjoy your children and thank God for all the people who also love your children. Children cannot have too much love. Shared parenting advocates want children to have great relationships with both parents. We want children to be connected to their aunts, uncles and cousins on both sides. These connections are called social capital, and they make children content, capable and successful. Shared parenting is great for children, great for parents and great for society.

Linda Reutzel, of Cape Girardeau, is chair of the Missouri chapter of National Parents Organization.