B.J. Smith, you seem like a nice guy.
You seem like you want to do well in your new job. You seem eager to make the girls' basketball program at Southeast better.
You seem like you want to reach out to the community, take our hands and pull us along on the way to a championship.
You have big goals. Big expectations.
That makes it all the more sad to see you here.
Welcome to Cape Girardeau, by the way.
It's not that the community won't love you, B.J. We'll shake your hand, congratulate you on a win, insist that you "done good" after a tough loss.
But the fact is that we like going to the Show Me Center, sure, but only when the time is right. For Lynyrd Skynyrd, of course. Gun shows, yeah. Women's basketball? Maybe, but there's probably something better on TV tonight.
Come game-time, be careful what you say, too. We like our basketball games quiet, maybe so we can hear all those exchanges between you and the girls. Remember when your grade-school teacher rewarded the student who could stay quiet the longest? We've won those.
What's that? You mean they're calling it "women's" basketball now? Maybe that's more PC, but they'll always be girls to us. Just like the girls who ask me if I want more coffee at Denny's in the morning. Come to think of it, I think that's where I was that night your predecessor coached his last game at the Show Me Center.
Truth is, B.J., folks 'round here were more abuzz about that Albertsons supermarket going-out-of-business sale two weeks ago than we were about the prospect of a young, energetic basketball coach from Oklahoma coming in to lift our college basketball spirit. No offense, but we have to set priorities. Time is valuable, and so we look for the best entertainment we can get.
Speaking of Oklahoma, I heard they finished second in the country a couple weeks ago. So you're planning to play those girls -- errr, "women" -- next season, huh? Should be fun. Let us know how that all works for you.
The men's team, mind you, that's a whole 'nother deal. Those men, now they can play some basketball. They know their sport. They have good skills, they can dribble, they can shoot, they can run it, they can play defense, they can pass it just right. Those kids are fun to watch. I'll go to those. Yeah, I know the men only won six times last year, but they played their hearts out. They never quit trying.
Not that the girls stopped trying or can't dribble and shoot and run and play defense and pass the ball, but ... but ... well, it's just different, see?
Bottom line, B.J., is this: We like you. We want you and your family to have a good time here. Heck, maybe you'll want to settle in here and finish out your career with us. We'd love for you to stay and keep coaching those girls as best you can.
We might even try to get to a game sometime.
But we can't promise anything.
Jamie Hall is the sports editor of the Southeast Missourian
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