Billboards in space? It's only a matter of time

The economy may be in a shambles down on Earth, but for $20 million it will look a whole lot better from space.

At least, Russia's financially strapped space agency is banking on it -- getting some good old capitalistic cash from boy band pop star Lance Bass who is training for a road trip to the international space station this fall. At 23, Bass is vying to become the youngest person to really space out. He also would be the first celebrity space tourist.

NASA, which hasn't always sung the praises of space tourists, is starting to get in harmony on the 'N Sync singer's planned journey into space.

Bass barely has a high school education, but he knows how things really get funded in America. He's lining up corporate sponsors to pay his way into orbit.

NASA should take note. Our space agency would do well to follow suit, particularly if it could come up with some really cool, Disney-like uniforms.

NASA could bank on a bright future if it sold advertising space on its space shuttles. It could be a flying billboard of advertisements for everything from clothes to cereal. The astronauts could sport commercial logos on their uniforms just like race care drivers.

If college bowl games can be named for every conceivable enterprise, then our nation's journeys to Mars and other space havens could be equally marketed through corporate America.

A lot of people would jump at the chance to get above the fray, particularly if they could get frequent flyer miles and extra peanuts on the flights.

Of course, first we have to have proper accounting in the nation's board rooms. But it's hard to imagine that this nation's smart businessmen and women won't realize the enormous potential of commercializing space and writing off the depreciation of the universe.

Once we've cluttered our roads with billboards, we'll desperately need new places to advertise. Space is clearly an untapped market.

With the proper marketing, we could convince more Americans to cruise on into space complete with tour guides and activities for the kids. Beer companies would do their best to warn us to drink responsibly in space and not get a ticket.

Along with all the beer commercials, there would have to be televised sports in the vast reaches of space. The trick would be to keep sports like baseball from ending up in some black hole.

And it would only be a matter of time before universities started classes in space. The professors literally might be out of this world. Loosened from the shackles of gravity, education could truly be an elevating experience.

But even the thought of a boy-band astronaut gets little attention from Becca and Bailey these days.

They're too busy preparing for the start of school this week with enough school supplies to outfit a small planet. Their feet are firmly planted on the ground. They would have to be with their big backpacks.

Becca and Bailey don't have any corporate sponsors. Like other kids, they must depend on their parents to outfit them for another year of mind journeys.

Bailey's going into first grade. Becca's going into fifth grade where student IDs are mandatory.

IDs used to be limited to security people and college students. Increasingly, we all have IDs. It's how we dress for success.

Naturally, we'll want to have IDs in space too so we can spin up a little more business for such an important industry.

Mankind has always looked to the heavens and not just on the Fourth of July.

We get a bang out of the possibilities that the future holds even if we can't carry a tune or play in a boy band.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.