featuresApril 3, 1999
When my sister was a little girl, we had all the squabbles you could expect in a household of two kids. I was the oldest child, and therefore resented the cute little person who had doting godparents and stole all my thunder since she did everything before I did...

When my sister was a little girl, we had all the squabbles you could expect in a household of two kids.

I was the oldest child, and therefore resented the cute little person who had doting godparents and stole all my thunder since she did everything before I did.

You know what I mean, she walked early, talked early, read early, and anything else she could do that would cause me to get lost in the shadows of her success.

I resented her and did everything I could to make her life miserable, including an unfortunate mishap involving a cigarette lighter and her brand new hair bows which resulted in my begging her not to tell our parents why her hair was singed.

The funny thing about a two-sibling rural household is you have to get along sometimes. Otherwise, who are you going to play with? Who's going to tie the rope to the fence and turn the other end while you jump? Who's going to sit and wait for the tennis ball to appear on the other side of the house after you throw it?

Who's going to unlock the side door and help you sneak into the house when you've missed curfew?

That's the way it was with Clarissa and me, which meant we had a major love-hate relationship going on during our childhoods. We loved each other because we were all we had, but we battled quite often because ... well, because we were all we had.

Towards the end of our childhood, we realized that we were sisters, but we were also friends. Several happenings made us realize we could always depend upon each other to be there when the goings got rough.

I was her biggest fan and she was mine, and that's the way it was supposed to be. We knew that because we had watched our mother doing the same thing with her sister, Thelma.

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Mom and Thelma were only two of 14 kids, but they were close in age and relied on each other for help with educational, financial, emotional and anything else life dealt them.

Just like me and Riss.

You know, it's good to have good friends, but it's great to have good siblings. I see so many people who aren't close to their siblings. They only talk to each other when the need arises, like during holidays, weddings or funerals. They don't seek each other out to shoot the breeze or to get an extra measure of self-confidence on test or interview days.

They don't make time to remember the dirty underwear on the lamp that caused the big sister to move into the guest room, or the time the big sister wet the bed and tried to blame it on her sibling.

They don't do the things it takes to keep family ties strong, even though they bend over backwards to please friends. I don't get that, because in my opinion girlfriends are good, but sisters are forever. You can never be certain whether friends will drop you, deal you dirty or leave you by the wayside.

True enough, there are siblings who will do that also, but I think those are the ones who never understood the true concept of family in the first place.

A good sibling knows when to tell you that your breath stinks, when to pass you a mint, and when to just turn her head and keep on stepping.

That's what family is for.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.

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