BUCKING THE SYSTEM: MEMORIES MORE VALUABLE THAN NECESSITIES IN STOLEN PURSE

In no way can a woman be violated nonpersonally any more than by taking away her chief accessory.

Disaster struck in my household last weekend, and neither Patrick nor I have recovered yet. My purse was lost, recovered, then stolen by an as-yet-unidentified female, and I can truthfully say that it was by far the worst catastrophe I've ever experienced.

You'd think this person would have had the decency to at least drop the purse and some of its contents somewhere so it could eventually be returned to me. I mean, if nothing else, the ziplock bag of Fruity O's should have been a clue that somebody's momma really needed her purse and everything in it.

We lost a lot of money when my purse disappeared; in fact, it was a major portion of our biweekly household income. The money was important -- very important. But I also lost some other items in the process, and it took me a couple of days to realize those things were of equal, if not greater, value than the money.

First of all, MY PURSE IS GONE. Other women will understand that a woman's purse is an extension of herself, and it's vital that she carries the right one. It's my chief accessory, an expression of my personality, the one item that is with me most days.

A purse is like ... underwear -- it's very personal and private, and nobody is supposed to be in it but me.

I also lost my makeup. Now I'm sure some of you think that's a very flaky thing for me to say considering my car and insurance payments were due to be paid with the money in my purse. But cosmetics aren't cheap (not the good ones anyway), and when you consider the fact that I wear them to work and to play, their value increases.

I'm sure my male readers are saying that loss was a good one and shouldn't be bemoaned. Like Patrick, they're probably saying that makeup is a female problem, and they don't care whether we wear it or not.

But consider this: when I met Patrick, I was wearing makeup. When I go to work, or dancing, or even to the grocery store or gas station, I'm wearing makeup. Nobody has ever told me to take it off, so I'm guessing it enhances rather than afflicts my appearance. Therefore, makeup is valuable.

I also lost all of my and Jerry's identification. I'm one of those people who keeps everything of value in her purse because a) you never know what identification you'll need and b) my wallet is the one thing I always have with me.

Well, not anymore. So in addition to the theft of my money and my makeup, some female also has my driver's license, social security card and health insurance information, as well as Jerry's social security card and immunization records.

And then there's the memories the woman took that can't be replaced. Like the ticket stub from the time Patrick and I had gone all the way to St. Louis to see a movie on its opening night. And the chits from various restaurants and bars I'd visited in my college years.

And my special "momma" pictures of Jerry. Those were the ones you could tell were shown often because my fingers had started leaving grease marks where I'd grabbed the edges of them so much.

So you see, the theft of my purse was really a deep violation of me. I lost a lot of things that are replaceable and a few things that weren't, but the fact that they're gone at all is very disturbing.

I haven't carried a purse this week. I'm naive enough that I still believe my purse is going to show up, but that isn't the only reason. There's also the fact that right now I just don't have anything to put in my purse. I have no makeup, I have no money, I have no memorabilia. What's the need?

I also don't feel like bonding with another purse just yet. Somehow, it's just wrong. I feel the need to take my time before getting attached to another chief accessory. It's an important decision and not one to be taken lightly.

After all, my life's going in there.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.