Daughter learns there's no merit badge for crutches

Our home resembles a hospital these days.

Becca is hobbling around on crutches. It wasn't even a sports injury. No ESPN coverage here.

She tripped over a doorstop at school as she was coming back from computer lab and injured her left knee. An education clearly can be dangerous.

Joni took her to a hospital emergency room where doctors concluded that she needed crutches. Our 10-year-old ended up with a nice pair of gray crutches.

In today's high-tech world, I was amazed the crutches didn't come with a television or radio.

Becca wanted a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV, desk and a computer Play Station. But she had to settle for crutches.

While she's hobbled, she can't participate in gym class. She can't hop, skip or jump. "I can't run. I can't roller skate or tap dance," Becca told me as she maneuvered through the house with the aid of crutches.

It took her only a few minutes to major in Crutches 101. She closely read the "Instructions on Crutch Walking" from the hospital. She's proud to be among the walking wounded.

If there was a merit badge for being on crutches, she'd grab it.

Becca's already concluded that being on crutches is a sure way to get extra attention from friends and family.

Within hours after returning home, a couple neighborhood kids stopped by to see how Becca was doing. She proudly showed off her bandaged knee.

Joni and I have already been penciled in as slaves for a day as Becca recovers from her injury. Actually, I think Becca figures we'll be her personal slaves for days.

But I'm counting on her knee heeling quickly. It's not broken.

I tell her to sit on the couch, but Becca prefers to stand close to the living room TV while balanced on her crutches.

When she did finally sit down, she wanted a chocolate bar, no doubt for medicinal reasons.

Bailey, our 6-year-old, probably wishes she could hobble around too.

No one was hobbling around the other day when we grabbed a bite to eat at a local fast-food restaurant.

While seated in a booth, Bailey started lecturing me about watching too many televised basketball games.

Pretty soon the giggle fits started. It began with the kids and before long we all were laughing.

But I confess I watch my share of televised sports, particularly when the kids are playing computer games.

Still, it isn't all sports. I've been known to tune to Disney and the Discovery Channel. Even the Weather Channel gets my attention from time to time. As the creators of the Weather Channel know, there's nothing like a Hurricane to boost ratings.

But even beyond the storm clouds, television can be a good thing unless, of course, you're Edward Bello.

A federal judge in New York sentenced the 60-year-old man to home detention but banned him from watching TV for 10 months. His lawyers argued that the "no-TV" sentence was cruel and unusual punishment. Obviously, they've never walked on crutches.

The case is being appealed. Until then, Bello is free to watch any of the seven TVs in his home. I can't imagine having that many televisions in a single home.

As for crutches, one pair is enough for us.

And as Becca's learning, life is clearly smoother when you have something to hold onto.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.