Honoring all women on Mother's Day

By Tyler Tankersley

At a church I previously served I grew to respect and appreciate my friend Carla. She was an active leader in our church: a Deacon, a Sunday school teacher, and a kind soul. Carla always sat in the back pew, on the piano side, right under the balcony. She also very rarely missed a church service. Which was why it was especially noticeable when she was absent one Sunday in May (it happened to have been Mother's Day). I called her the next morning to check on her.

"Carla," I said, "we missed you in church yesterday. Is everything OK?"

"Well, I missed seeing you all too, but ... well ... the truth is ... I never go to church on Mother's Day. It's just too painful," said Carla as I could tell she was fighting back tears.

Carla then told me that she and her husband had struggled with infertility for years. They desperately wanted to have children, prayed for children, and had even fervently looked into adoption. However, the exorbitant costs of adoption made it impossible for them to pursue.

Suddenly I saw what our church did on Mother's Day in a new light. Each Mother's Day we would give the children a small token to hand out. Then we would ask all of the mothers and grandmothers to stand as the kids walked up and down the pews and lovingly placed these tokens in these women's open hands. And I realized what must feel like to be Carla in that moment, desperately wishing that she could be among those standing women.

Carla never raised a fuss about it. She never demanded that the practice be changed. However, it was too painful for her to be present at worship that morning. Carla's story broke my heart.

The next year on Mother's Day we did something different. Another pastor on staff was leading the Children's Moment and told the kids about how blessed we are if we have a loving, kind mother we can still talk to. However, the pastor said, there are also other women in our lives who God can use to teach us and guide us; women who are teachers, doctors, friends, neighbors, deacons, and pastors. There are all kinds of other women who we can appreciate and love because of the ways that they embody the love of Jesus Christ to us.

Then the pastor asked all women to stand. Then she instructed the kids to give out a beautiful bookmark to each and every woman in that room. And a lump in my throat formed as I watched a little boy hand one up to a standing Carla, tears streaming down her cheeks.

If you are blessed to have a wonderful mother (like I am) then please take the time to appreciate her. But please also remember that Mother's Day is a difficult day for many of our sisters in the world. The day is a wonderful opportunity to take a moment to appreciate all the women in our lives whether they are mothers or not.