By Tyler Tankersley

During the season of Advent, we focus on four virtues of the life of faith: hope, peace, joy and love. On this third Sunday of Advent, we spend time meditating on the presence of joy in our lives. If I am being honest, however, this is the Advent virtue with which I most struggle.

We've all heard this so much, it's beginning to sound cliche, but perhaps the tension we feel around joy is that it often is confused with happiness. Unlike small-term expressions of happiness, joy cannot be made into a commodity to be produced, bought, sold or marketed. Joy is not found at Target, Wal-Mart, Kohl's or even on Amazon! Joy cannot be legislated or mandated. Joy will not be controlled.

Joy can only be received -- and I don't often do well with receiving.

I am cynical enough to believe everybody's got an angle, everybody is looking to make a buck, everyone has their own agenda, and there is no such thing as a free lunch. Grace can be awfully intimidating.

When I was a youth minister, I had a student who came from an especially hard home. His father was not in the picture, and his poor, overworked mother was never a source of comfort for this teenager, but instead was always belittling him. Because of this, he wrestled fiercely with the idea of trusting anybody, and he was always afraid somebody was going to ask something of him.

I texted him one day and asked if he would meet me at Starbucks. He reluctantly agreed.

We ordered our drinks, sat across a small table from one another, and he began to grow fidgety.

Finally, he looked up at me and asked, "So, what is it that you wanted help with?"

I blinked and said, "I do not need your help with anything. I simply wanted to get coffee with you to spend time with you."

He stared at me for many moments before asking: "Why?"

I said, "Because I think you are worth spending time with."

He began to relax, and we had a great conversation about our favorite superhero movies.

Joy can only be received. The Psalmist writes, "Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning" (Psalm 30:5).

Joy is likened to the appearance of the sunrise, another uncontrollable phenomenon that can only be received and appreciated.

In our sanctuary during this Advent season, we have a brand-new Nativity family set up in the baptistry.

My 4-year-old son, Henry, was helping me with something in the sanctuary, and he was staring at the holy family.

He said, "Mary and Joseph look really happy. Like they just opened a Christmas present and baby Jesus was inside."

He's right. They do look happy, but I think it's more than happiness; I'm pretty sure it's joy.