"So you didn't fall on your cluttered basement steps?" said my alter ego.

"NO?"

"Nor on the stairs going up to the attic where you predicted you'd fall and wind up tied in fancy, colorful ribbons and silk flowers? A bribe for St. Peter?"

"NO."

"On the uncluttered concrete sidewalk, you say?"

"YES."

"How come?" (facial expression showing mock perplexity)

"MY INITIAL OPINION IS THAT IT WAS THE HEX SIGN."

"The hex sign!" (eyes rolling upwards)

"YES. YOU KNOW, THE ONE I HAVE ON MY GARAGE GABLE THAT IS SUPPOSED TO WARD OFF EVIL SPIRITS AND PROTECT ONE FROM SUCH ACCIDENTS. GEE, I'VE WRITTEN ABOUT THE HEX SIGN MORE THAN ONCE."

"Well, I'm not a regular reader. You think everyone hangs on your every word?"

(Short silence while alter ego and I de-fluster ourselves)

"I WON'T GO INTO THE HISTORY OF THE HEX SIGN AGAIN . . ."

"Oh, don't let me stop you. If it is a favorite subject, go right ahead (yawn). Be my guest."

"I RESENT THAT. YOU'RE BEING NASTY AND, WELL, UH, POLITICALLY INCORRECT."

"So you're politicizing everything these days?"

"Poor, poor thing."

"NOW YOU'RE BEING SARCASTIC."

"So how does this work? The hex sign gets mad at you and makes you fall? Sounds like voodoo to me."

(I sometimes get very impatient with my alter ego who lives so squarely and smugly anchored in the world of stark reality, pragmatism and de-winged felicity. But I have to live with her and she with me, so I try to get along).

Suggesting pseudo-realistically, that the connection between the hex sign and the fall might have been something one could see and hold and feel, I said, "MAYBE A PIECE OF PAINT FROM THE HEX SIGN FLEW OFF AND TEMPORARILY BLINDED ME, CAUSING A MISSTEP, OR MAYBE I STEPPED ON ONE OF THE DEAD PAINT SCALES AND SLID, OR MAYBE (recovering a little of my winged mind set) A PIECE OF IT WENT FLYING BY AND I THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT IT WAS A YELLOW HUMMINGBIRD . . ."

"I've never seen nor heard of a yellow hummingbird, but maybe you do have one foot in the tangible world."

"ON YES I SEE, HEAR, TASTE, TOUCH, SMELL. AND BEING ABLE TO SEE, I READ A LOT. RIGHT NOW I'M READING A MOST FASCINATING BOOK. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE THINGS IN THE ATMOSPHERE THAT ARE AN OCTAVE OR TWO, MAYBE THREE OR FOUR, ABOVE OUR SENSES. IT'S LOGICAL TO THINK THAT THE SLIGHTEST BREEZE STRIKING THE HEX SIGN GIVES OFF A SOUND WAVE THAT WE DO NOT HEAR, BUT YET HAS AN EFFECT ON US. THAT SOUND WAVE CAN BE ALTERED BY A COAT OF PAINT. ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?"

"No."

"WELL, SOUND WAVES, WHETHER WE HEAR THEM OR NOT ARE ATTUNED TO OUR MOODS. WHEN OUR OLD MUSICIANS GOT BUSY TO COME UP WITH HARMONICALLY STANDARD MUSICAL KEYS, THEY EVEN THOUGHT THAT TO IMAGINATIVE MINDS, CERTAIN CHORDS SEEMED TO AROUSE EMOTIONAL RESPONSES. D FLAT SUGGESTED DIGNITY, F, A LIGHTER MOOD AND B FLAT A SPIRIT OF FREEDOM FROM ACCEPTED RULES. IF A BREEZE STRIKING THE SHABBY HEX SIGN GAVE OFF A B FLAT SOUND, EVEN THOUGH UNHEARD, AN EMOTION MIGHT BE AROUSED IN ONE TO SKIP ALONG BLITHELY WHERE SURE-FOOTEDNESS WAS CALLED FOR AND THUS FALL."

Huh? Let me see that place behind your ear where you said you struck your head."

REJOICE!

~Jean Bell Mosley is an author and longtime columnist for the Southeast Missourian.