Letting God hold our expectations

I recently started a big new project and found myself feeling overwhelmed by the number of things I wanted to do for it, along with the number of other things in life that needed my more immediate attention. It felt like there was no way I could get it all done and do it well while also enjoying it. I felt anxious and worried, and John 14:27 (NAB) came to mind.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you," Jesus tells his disciples and us in the verse. "Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid."

"Not as the world gives do I give to you." These words helped me realize: Part of my stress was coming from the fear I wouldn't be able to finish all of the tasks I needed to in the timeline I was allotted; except, my timeline was self-imposed. I felt Jesus asking me to give my timeline to him so he could hold it for a while, and I could be free to live fully and presently without worrying about getting stuff done. It is a beautiful gift, freedom; one, I am sure, I will need to be reminded of many more times throughout life as new experiences arise.

It's causing me to think about expectations and the beauty that can come when we let go of our own timeframes we place on ourselves and God, others and the world, and instead let God hold these expectations for a bit, giving us a break from needing to make it all happen. Our timelines for healing, our timelines for when we should have things complete, our timelines for what we want.

"It takes as long as it takes," writer Mary Rose O'Reilley writes in "Radical Presence: Teaching As Contemplative Practice." That's one thing that is true. Sometimes, that is fast, sometimes, that is slow, but really, our perception of the pace depends upon our preconceived expectation and hope of how long it "should" take. "Expectations are pre-packaged resentment," Father Bill Kottenstette always told us. "You can't 'should' all over someone."

So, let's stop "should-ing" all over ourselves. It is OK to be incomplete, it is OK to be slow, it is OK to be imperfect. It is also OK to dream, to go for what we want and to hope. (Please do.) Maybe the key is to not let dreaming, wanting and hoping become a god that causes us to miss the real God who is in the reality of what is before us. Maybe it's about doing everything together with God.

Let us be free, fine with this moment and all that is still incomplete about us, each other, our lives, the world. Let us receive this for what it is and be patient. Hopeful. Ready to delight. And then, let's delight. Abandon ourselves to it, this wonder and joy and heartbreak of what it is to be human.

And let ourselves be light.