Life beyond the plate: Cape native Whitney Gaffari started a business to help others form a healthy relationship with food

Where do you turn after a bad breakup or stressful day at work -- a pint of Ben & Jerry's? A giant order of french fries? It's called emotional eating or stress eating, and Whitney Gaffari has been there. It's what inspired her new business, Soul Nutrition, and led her to help others form a healthier relationship with food.

Growing up in Cape Girardeau, Gaffari says she encountered everything that most young girls encounter, and some things she hopes girls never have to face. She was always the overweight kid in her class, she recalls, and one of only a few African-American kids in her school. She struggled with low self-esteem and problems at home and, eventually, her own troubled marriage and eventual divorce.

Whitney Gaffari checks out the fresh produce at Cape Girardeau's Riverfront Market. (Laura Simon)

"I was always the kid with a little bit of a complex. I had depression and anxiety that followed me all the way into my adult life," she says. "I thought, something's gotta give. I'm not happy, I've always dealt with an unhealthy relationship with food, I was a binge eater as a teen. I wasn't thriving. I was not living the life I knew was possible."

She began seeing a therapist, eating healthier and exercising. She dropped 50 pounds, and it was while working with the Arbonne beauty company that she discovered the Institute of Integrated Nutrition, which educates students on becoming health coaches. She enrolled, became a healthy lifestyle coach and launched her business on the premise that we have two types of foods in our lives -- primary and secondary -- which must be balanced if we are to live fully and happily.

Primary foods, she explains, are the foods that feed our souls: our education, careers, relationships, home environments, social lives, finances, physical activity and so on.

"When one of those things is out of balance is when you start having a disconnect, or a dysfunctional relationship with your secondary foods, which are the foods on your plate," she says. "When there is harmony in that effect, your relationship with food is much better."

Now, Gaffari knows this is where her history of binge eating came into play: She turned to food when her personal life, the primary food, was out of whack.

"You don't automatically realize or know that you're stress eating or emotional eating. It doesn't click, it just happens. You're looking for something to fill that void," she says.

So how to achieve that harmony between primary and secondary foods?

That's where Soul Nutrition comes in. Gaffari, who now lives in St. Louis, works with clients on the phone, email, video and in person to identify their healthy lifestyle goals and implement healthy strategies in their daily lives. She says she specializes in helping individuals work through the emotional barriers that keep them from reaching the healthy lifestyle they want. Some of the most common areas she addresses are weight management, stress and transitions in life.

"It goes a long way to realize that it's OK to take care of yourself and put yourself first. We live in a society that looks down on that, but you are of service to no one if you are not healthy," says Gaffari.

She emphasizes that health coaches cannot replace doctors or therapists, but they can help hold clients accountable, offer day-to-day guidance and give them ideas for incorporating lifestyle changes recommended by a health care professional.

"(Health coaches) don't diagnose problems and we can't cure illnesses, but we work with you to manage what's on your plate currently. As long as you're not suffering a major debilitating disease or illness, coaching could be right for you," says Gaffari.

As for Gaffari, she continues to put what she's learned into practice in her daily life, and uses her experiences to connect with her clients.

"I get it. I've been there. Weight is always going to be an ongoing issue for me, given the past I've had, and now I'm more equipped to handle it," she says. "Soul Nutrition saved me. I don't want anyone else to have to struggle with anxiety and depression and a poor relationship with food. I want people to have a resource to go to implement simple life strategies."

Whitney's rules for healthy, happy living:

* "Begin each day with gratitude. While you lay in bed or brush your teeth, think of three things you're grateful for. Taking time to reflect on what you're grateful for helps you recognize that the things popping up in your life now are not nearly as detrimental to your life as you think they are. It helps you to recognize everything that is going right in your life and to maintain that happy outlook on life."

* "Eat to feed your body, meditate to feed your soul. It helps the connection between your mouth and your stomach to realize that you're not eating just for pleasure or comfort, but to fuel your body."

* "Live, laugh and love. When you make time for all three of these in life, you'll be naturally balanced. Think of living rather than just getting by. Find humor and light and live to succeed. Live to thrive. Find joy in life."

Follow Whitney at twitter.com/flourishwithin