Living with what you must

Thanksgiving Day is now over and hopefully we all found much for which we could be thankful. But were we indeed thankful? I believe most tried to make the most of what's happened within the scope of the pandemic -- thankful with their lives, in general. The pandemic is, oftentimes, a deadly disease, but we can still find much for which to be grateful. Since people have no choice except to accept the presence of the virus and do their best to endure and adjust to what's necessary, we can be happy, hopeful, and adaptable. Happiness really does not depend on what's present within the outside world. We will be far better off if we improvise with what we must do without, and find new avenues in which to express our creativity and attain our goals. We must be courageous and adapt to what we must.

Regardless of the good that is found within our life, negativity still wiggles its way into our minds, and then creeps into our hearts. Everyone, can be lured into the abyss of looking for what's bad, hurtful and absent. Listening to others gossip adds to the frustration. Negativity is contagious. If one person in a room speaks badly about another person or situation, everyone's lips droop and their spirits sink, even though, they too, may join in the conversation. The same condition exists within an atmosphere of positivity. Sharing a positive thought or characteristic fills the whole room with hope and joy. Positivity and thankfulness spread like sunlight following the darkness of night. How often do we live by the values of others?

Do we examine to see why we hold particular opinions, and adopt them as our own when they aren't really ours? We think we have to live in a particular type of house and drive a special car because our family has done so. We've followed the opinions of others without question. When we dip into our subconscious mind, we quite often find treasures of gold. We see the difference in how we feel inside as compared to what we personify. We have lived the artificial life so long we have lost our true identity. When we peel our outside layers back, we see an entirely different person than we viewed earlier. We must redefine our identity. We may need fewer possessions, less social life and desire a simpler life than that of our family of origin or our friends. We have to gauge our happiness on our values and desires rather than that of others. Perhaps we can adjust to, whatever we must, easier than others. We needn't hide the fact, but share our coping strategies with others.

A very close relative has become a person I admire very much. I have spoken of her previously in my articles, but in a different context. Bethany has endured more suffering than one could imagine. She is ninety four years old, and Bethany is still independent--living alone. Her biggest challenge is that her painful knees keep her from walking well, so she seldom shops or travels. Bethany lost her husband at an early age, then within a period of two years, both her grown daughters died. She pressed on, dealing with her grief without burdening others unnecessarily. Her son-in-law lives up the street from her house and sees that she is taken to the grocery store, or he drives her when her arthritis allows. In spite of all, she has stood firm, determined to go on.

Bethany stays home, most of the time, including holidays, because she has few people to take her. As I talked with her, close to Thanksgiving, she, as usual was staying home. "I don't have to eat a big Thanksgiving dinner to be thankful," she said. "I'll have my salad with ham and boiled eggs," and she mentioned a few other dishes, as well. Bethany will also be home, alone, over Christmas, having the same attitude. Bethany's situation isn't one for which she ask, but she has little choice. She is used to it now and makes the best of it. She has gone from asking "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me," (Matthew 27:46) to believing the Scripture, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5--6)