Dole should spend less time talking about the issues and more time practicing his footwork.

It's a song. It's a dance. It's the stuff that presidential visits are made of.

Welcome to Macarena in Missouri.

The dance involves a lot of hand-on-body stuff and some well-timed hops.

Democrats have embraced this Latin line dance with gusto. It was a hit at the Democratic National Convention and it was a hit Friday at Capaha Park, where five Southeast Missouri State University students entertained thousands at a rally by doing the Macarena on stage just prior to the arrival of President Bill Clinton and Vice President Al Gore.

Bill and Al are ready to do the dance on election day. They don't think Dole and Kemp are ready for this dance.

At restaurants, on tour boats and in ball parks, the Latin line dance has become standard fare.

It's also a hit at weddings, office parties and beauty pageants.

Next thing you know, that popular purple dinosaur will be dancing to the beat.

This Macarena stuff is hard to beat. No wonder Dole is behind in the polls. He should spend less time talking about the issues and more time practicing his footwork.

If he wants to take some quick lessons, he might try Miami Beach, where customers at outdoor restaurants drop their forks in the middle of dinner to stretch out their arms, swing their hips and jump 90 degrees to the right in the steps of the dance.

About the only people who aren't allowed to do it are Secret Service agents. You can always tell the Secret Service agents. They always have on coats, ties and those sunglasses. Secret Service agents must go to bed in their sunglasses. I think they were probably born that way.

They also wear those little earphones. That way you won't be tempted to ask them a question because you'll figure they can't hear you anyway.

Friday's presidential visit was truly an experience. It's not every day a local reporter gets to squeeze in line with a ton of other reporters and photographers on a press platform. This allowed us to see the president and the Macarena dancers.

One of my height-challenged friends said she had to stand on her child's stroller to get a good look. Platform shoes are a must at these events.

Several friends took their children to the presidential rally. Joni and I didn't. At 8 months of age, Bailey could care less about the Macarena. Becca, our 4-year-old, would have liked the dance. But as working press, Joni and I knew we couldn't cover the president and watch Becca, too.

"I want to go see the principal, too," she said.

"Clinton's not the principal. He's the president of the country," I explained. "He's sort of like a principal."

When you're 4, it is tough to imagine anyone is more important than a school principal.

You can always tell the reporters at these events. We're the ones who walk around with paper identification tags around our necks like kindergarten kids on the first day of class.

Wherever the president goes, the White House press corps follows. They have different press tags than the local reporters and access to better beverages.

But we all had one thing in common Friday. None of us were doing the Macarena. Even reporters have to maintain some dignity.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.