What a week.

First, Mark McGwire sends Missouri and the entire nation into the stratosphere by hitting his 62nd home run to break Roger Maris' record. Then, our oldest daughter, Becca, embraces the latest new-old fashion fad, bell-bottom jeans.

Finally, Kenneth Starr issues a report to Congress that would make most decent people blush. It's enough to send us all looking for Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.

McGwire mania has struck this area like a summer hurricane. Everywhere you turn, there are T-shirts, caps and other assorted items for sale to celebrate the achievements of the St. Louis Cardinals' slugger.

Naturally, our family had to get its share of T-shirts and assorted souvenir programs too. Unless you're in a coma, you can't help but get caught up in all the hoopla. In a nation searching for heroes, we've finally found one in the form of a redheaded first baseman who can hit the daylights out of the ball and still find time to say nice things about his ex-wife.

For the more sophisticated baseball fans, there's the Mark McGwire commemorative crystal baseball paperweight. Each hand-cut baseball is numbered and feature's McGwire's authentic signature as opposed to all those fake ones out there. You can drop this baby and it will definitely break. It wouldn't last long in our home once our daughters started using it for batting practice.

McGwire is so popular that St. Louis has renamed streets around Busch Stadium in honor of the guy.

McGwire mania is so widespread, even our youngest daughter, Bailey, regularly speaks his name. I think it's the red hair that catches her attention not the home runs. After all, Bailey is a redhead too.

But Becca and Bailey, at ages 6 and 2, respectively, still find other things more important than home-run records.

McGwire's feats are neat, but Becca and Bailey would rather watch the Spice Girls. The other night when McGwire broke the home-run record, I watched it on a small television in our dining room while Becca and Bailey watched the Spice Girls movie on the living room set. With a small flashlight serving as a make-believe microphone, they mouthed the words to the Spice Girl songs.

Joni recently bought a Baby Spice doll for our first grader. Move over Barbie, you've got competition.

In our home, McGwire also has to compete with bell-bottom jeans. Becca loves her flared jeans in the same way that Bailey loves her white slip. Give our children some new clothes and instantly you'll be treated to a fashion show.

For us, those bell-bottoms are a virtual time machine, sending us back decades. Just when you thought the old style was history, it's back in vogue.

Of course, McGwire has been a time machine, of sorts, reminding people of baseball's proud past. His popularity could well spark a whole new generation of parents to name their children "Mark."

Naturally, I don't have a problem with that. Growing up, I knew lots of Marks. Sometimes there were several of us in a single class. When the teacher called out "Mark," we would all look up, each hoping that we weren't the "Mark" she was talking about. But in recent years, there have been fewer of us. McGwire, no doubt, will change that.

As for the Starr report, I haven't read it yet. I've been too busy trying to keep up with the latest fashion trends of my children and learning the words of those Spice Girl songs.

And Joni and I can't help but root for McGwire, who has shown us all that nice guys can finish first in all the really important ways. Even the Spice Girls could cheer for that.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.