By Mia Pohlman

I recently had a conversation with a friend in which he told me he stopped going to church because he felt judged by the people there for certain decisions he'd made in the past. He was hurt by others' judgment and also found these people hypocritical.

I felt sad when I heard this, that the body of Christ had failed him and caused pain rather than the acceptance and reconciliation God overwhelms each of us with daily. I felt sad that we as Christ's body have in some way chosen our ideals of "right" and "wrong" over the personhood and his need.

The woman at the well, Zacchaeus the tax collector, the woman caught in adultery -- Jesus loved these people, accepted them, pardoned them, chose to spend his time with them. What if we did this, too?

I remember in elementary school, one of my teachers told our class when we point our finger at someone else, three of our fingers point back at ourselves. I think any time we find ourselves judging others, we need to take a moment to examine ourselves instead.

We cannot change others; we can love them, but the changing is up to God and them.

We can, however, change ourselves by opening ourselves up to God and allowing God the freedom to transform us.

When we receive this freedom and love from God, I am convinced we then are freed to extend it to others. Our desire to judge and find ourselves better than another goes away, and all that's left is the love with which God has loved us.

On the flip side, I think it's also important we keep bringing ourselves to church. We need to have forgiveness for the people around us and realize while God is perfect, the Church is made up of imperfect people who don't always love with the love of God, because we're human.

I think we have to pray for the ability to forgive and love each other unconditionally.

We are each a member of the body of Christ, and when we are missing, the body is incomplete. We need to remember, at least once a week, who we are -- both the parts of ourselves that have fallen short and the parts of us that we are happy about -- and we need to gather communally to do this.

Some days, we'll be the ones ready to be at church who can take on the burdens and struggles of those around us; other days, we'll be the ones who feel down during church and need to be reminded of God's love through the people around us.

Either way, it's important we're there and open, ready to give whatever it is we have that day, whether it be "good" or "bad," and also ready to receive the goodness of God.

We need to remember that church isn't for perfect people who already have everything figured out; it's for people who fall short and need a God capable of loving us through that to make good with our lives.

We're all living toward a God who is perfect love -- let's help each other get there.