Real-world wisdom

By Jeff Long

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom," (Proverbs 9:10a).

There is more to the epigram above, so what you read there is a bit out of context. Still, there is enough in the first 10 words of that verse to dig in for some real-world life application.

Let's be clear about what the verse is not saying. Fearing God is not being scared or frightened. This writer is persuaded that the sense of "fear" in Proverbs 9 has to do with respect.

Fine. How does one respect God?

One way, it seems to me, is to start by admitting all we know about God, or about almost anything, actually, is incomplete.

It is respectful to give credence to the distance between Creator and the created (us), if we admit we do not possess all knowledge.

Therefore, with apologies to the unknown authors of the Old Testament book of Proverbs, we could amend the aforementioned to read: "To admit you don't know is the beginning of wisdom."

My wife, Lois, and I are Realtors. We help people buy and sell property. Things normally go smoothly when all parties to a transaction respect the process: buyers, sellers, appraisers, inspectors, real-estate agents, lenders and title company.

Disrespecting the process means someone chooses to speak definitively when he or she should not. Disrespecting the process means someone speaks with certainty about the details when in reality, he or she really doesn't know. When this happens, people get hurt, which is unnecessary.

What makes us show a definitive and certain face to the world when we know, deep down, we are not at all sure? Somehow we've gotten the idea we must have all the answers all of the time.

Owning a mistake, taking responsibility for an error, is so anathema to our own self-esteem that we find ourselves compensating for ignorance by blaming others.

In the now out-of-print book "The Christian Agnostic" (1965) by Leslie Weatherhead, the author suggests "I don't know" may be the very definition of Christian maturity. As the Englishman argued, it is OK to have a mental box, a repository in our minds, labeled "Awaiting Further Light."

There is nothing wrong with admitting a lack of knowledge. "I don't know" has never been fatal. In fact, such honesty -- in my experience -- usually yields gratitude from others.

Arthur "Fonz" Fonzarelli, the mythical character portrayed decades ago by actor Henry Winkler on TV's "Happy Days," had a self-image that did not allow for mistakes, nor for a lack of knowledge. Fonz could never admit to being in the dark about anything.

On many occasions during the show's 10-year run, the cool, slicked-back, motorcycle jacket-wearing Fonz never could say the words, "I'm sorry."

"To express regret is the beginning of wisdom."

Perhaps what we need in our society is less certitude and more humility.

Perhaps what we need in our communities is less arrogance and more self-reflection.

Perhaps what we need in our relationships is less "it's not my fault," and more "that one's on me."

Those who have eyes to see, let them see.