Striking constructive wounds

By Rob Hurtgen

Criticism is not in short supply. Criticism flows freely, leaving a wake of destruction. However, a critique from a source who has invested himself or herself in you is worth listening to.

Proverbs 27:6 reads, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."

This proverb delivers some life principles on receiving wounds that heal.

A faithful friend tells you what you do not want to hear. Faithful here means more than allegiance and steadiness. As in, "My dog is faithful" or "He is faithful to his job." "Faithful" in Hebrew means to foster, to be supportive or to act as a pillar. In other words, being faithful is being one who is not only reliable, but can be leaned on. The wounds of a faithful friend can be received because their aim is not to cause harm, but to bring healing.

I never will forget the day I went to a friend with some issues I was wrestling with concerning a long-term goal. My expectation was to have my ego stroked. Instead I was told what I did not want to hear. A new range of emotions surfaced. I first was offended, then mad and then deeply hurt. When all those emotions departed, I was then thankful for the friend who knew I could do better than what I had done. His wound brought healing and called out a greater quality of craftsmanship.

True friends are those who are interested in more than your companionship. Faithful friends desire to see God's best in your life as much as their own. Faithful friends will encourage, support and speak hard truths into your life. They expect you to do the same for them.

This verse from Proverbs contrasts the value of wounds and abundant praise. Profuse kisses describe exorbitant praise that is wonderful to hear, but is a veneer.

There is ugliness in unfounded criticism, but there is a true enemy behind abundant praise. A wise mentor and friend once shared, "Receive praise with one ear and let it flow right out of the other." Seeking praise is addicting. It leaves you empty. It surrounds you with people who are always looking for the next trend to praise, and will turn on you as quickly as they praised you.

Strive, then, to both be and have a few faithful friends who will strike wounds that heal.