When a loss is a win for Missouri's kids

This week marks a historic moment for children in Kentucky, as our neighbors celebrate the one-year anniversary of passing the first real Shared Parenting law in the country. This common sense law presumes that children of fit and willing parents get to spend equal time with them after separation or divorce. While a recent statewide survey shows 85% of Missourians agree that a child would benefit from having equal time with both capable parents following divorce, Kentucky is the only state in the nation with a true shared parenting law.

Up until just a few weeks ago, Missouri could have been the second.

But this past May, at the end of the legislation session, when Shared Parenting House Bill 229 was poised to become law, it was unnecessarily stalled in the Senate after months of growing momentum and support. That was a staggering loss for those of us who have fought so long for shared parenting. But it was also a victory, because this year we took a giant step forward to give our children and families what they deserve.

For me, the fight for shared parenting is personal. Back in 2014, when my son's access to his daughter was severely limited, we were both outraged. All he wanted after his divorce was equal time with his daughter; and his daughter wanted the same. Fast forward over the last five years, and my granddaughter is enjoying equal time with both parents and extended family. Once the anger went away, both realized the child needs both. The adversarial system we currently have actually encourages fighting. This presumption of equality is such a simple change but a monumental shift in our family court system that exists now.

Shared parenting is a bipartisan issue. The well-being of society's children affects all people -- with or without children, married, single or divorced. Our children's mental and physical health has an impact on society and research shows beyond doubt that shared parenting helps lower delinquency, drug addiction, teen pregnancy and other severe risks.

Our proposed bill didn't get as far as it did on its own. It did so with the wholehearted support of legislators, shared-parenting advocates and moms, dads and other family members like myself who faced the unfair loss of actively being in a child's life. In particular, I'd like to recognize Rep. Kathy Swan, Sen. Wayne Wallingford and Rep. Jim Neely, who worked tirelessly with us to educate and advocate. Also sincere thanks to the House Judiciary Committee members and the Senate Seniors, Families and Children Committee members who truly represented the children and families of Missouri.

So while another year passes without what's best for Missouri's children, we can celebrate the progress we've made and the success we will achieve in the coming year. What will that look like? For both parents, no more fear of losing your children after divorce. Children will not have to feel abandoned by one parent and extended family. The original family will not be eliminated, it will simply be rearranged. This change will create an environment where a costly custody fight is not automatically necessary and eliminates the winner-take-all approach.

As we celebrate Kentucky's victory this week, I want to thank Matt Hale, the driving force behind the state's shared-parenting law, which serves as the foundation for what we and many lawmakers believe will be Missouri's shared-parenting legislation in 2020.

Linda Reutzel is chair of the Missouri chapter of the National Parents Organization and a national board member.