A hot, hot future -- I mean really, really hot

If you find yourself in a situation where conversation comes to an awkward standstill, what do you do?

More than likely you will, at some point, talk about the weather.

"The weather" is a universal icebreaker. I can't say for sure, but I bet it's the same just about everywhere, even if you're in another part of the world.

Here's something you can use in such a situation:

Since 1880, when accurate and thorough weather record keeping began, the world's average temperature has increased 1.4 degrees.

See? There is something to all those comments you've heard that sound like this: "Dang, it sure is hot these days."

Look at the string of 80-plus temperatures we're having during the first week of October.

I can remember, in my lifetime, when the summer heat wave broke in mid-September, just in time for my birthday. By October we used to welcome Indian summer, a few days of moderate temperatures following the first killing frost of the season.

Ah, the good old days.

I have long held that, despite the official 1.4-degree increase in the average worldwide temperature, the highs and lows of any given year tend to average out in the end. Thus, hot summers mean you can look forward to extra-cold winters, and vice versa.

But that doesn't seem to be the case any more.

Remember when there was a time before "snow days" in a school district's calendar?

But wait. That's not all. There was a little-noticed story a few days ago about an assumption that the world's average temperature will increase by another whopping 7 degrees by the end of the current century.

Look, a 7-degree bump sounds tolerable when it's freezing cold outside. Bring it on.

But what about a 7-degree spike in the mercury in mid-August? That would mean those nasty 98s and 100s would go up to 105 or 107. And, because of the way averages work, high temperatures would actually go up even more to offset those occasional lows that occur from time to time.

That 7-degree forecast, by the way, is not from some radical environmental whackos. It's from a Trump administration report that makes the case that global warming is a done deal, and the warming trend was set in motion before the current president took office, which means you can't blame Trump for the hellish future we all will have to endure, regardless.

I'm surprised, frankly, that this bit of alarming weather forecasting hasn't been a bigger deal. Where are the survivalists, who surely recognize the disastrous effects of such a major increase in global warming?

Whenever there's any doomsday news, it's fairly common to hear about the fate of our children and grandchildren and future generations who will have to endure in an overheated world.

Some folks might think such a dire prognosis means it's a good time to buy stock in companies that manufacture air conditioners. But you have to wonder if there will be enough cooling capability to ensure the survival of most of us or just the privileged few who can afford super-cooling and can find the fuel resources to power the artificial cooling that will be required.

There you have it: Temperatures up 1.4 degrees in the last 138 years, and a forecast of an additional 7 degrees in the next 82 years.

Does anything strike you in all this? Look at that 82. That's about the life expectancy of babies being born today.

If nothing else, the forecast for global warming is likely to make many of us wonder how prepared the world will be when 2100 rolls around.

Who knows? There's plenty of time for another ice age. It's happened before. I'll bet there's some government report out there that predicts just that.

If I find it, I'll write another column -- although I'm not sure a frozen world is all that much better than a baked one.

Joe Sullivan is the retired editor of the Southeast Missourian.