OPINION: 'If you have nothing nice to say' about Rush, say nothing

Mommas are still the best teachers most of us have ever had, and the lessons they taught us back in the day probably remain some of the best advice we ever received. Let's take a look at this one in light of the sad passing of radio icon Rush Limbaugh: "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I remember watching an episode of "What's Happening!!" in the '70s that conveys this message. Remember that show? Raj, Rerun, Dwayne, Dee and the rest of the crew. Momma Mabel told sassy, sarcastic Dee, "If you don't have anything nice to say about your brother, don't say anything at all." Dee's response: "OK, but it's gonna be awful quiet around here!" Momma: "Good!"

Yes, good! We could use some of that quiet instead of people seizing on unfortunate circumstances to express hate or dislike or fear or whatever for whomever. It's such a low blow, but a common one. It speaks to quality of character. Another lesson that life, if not Momma, has taught us is "timing is everything." I've shared this many times, and here we are again.

Rush Limbaugh was a trailblazer, by all accounts a generous soul and certainly a patriot. No matter what those who disagreed with him felt about him, who can deny he knew his stuff, set the bar high and was a force to be reckoned with? His accomplishments speak for themselves. His voice still resonates. He will never be forgotten. You don't have to be one of his fans to acknowledge that. You don't even have to like him. You just have to be honest.

Sadly, Rush left this life because of cancer, a horrible disease many have been affected by. As destructive as it is, it has proved a uniter, bringing together those who have witnessed its effects. So if there is one thing that should supersede political differences, it should be this: a life cut short; a spouse left alone; perhaps a dream or two unfulfilled. To jump on this tragedy and use it to bash someone who can no longer speak for himself speaks volumes about a person. It says, "I'm alive but dead inside."

If the walking dead cannot find it in themselves to "say something nice" or offer condolences, then how about doing what Momma taught? How about saying nothing at all? How about providing some "awful quiet around here," to which we would say, "Good!"?

Sometimes, it's just classy to shut up. We don't always have to speak our minds. Sometimes, we need to lean on Momma's old-school wisdom. And let's not forget this statement attributed to President Abraham Lincoln: "Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Some folks "done" removed every inch of doubt because they have neither the wisdom nor the heart to step back and say nothing in deference to the timing if not the person. And if Mr. Lincoln, Dee's Momma or even your Momma can't move you to act like you have a modicum of morality, here's something from graduate school I've never forgotten:

Student: Does participation in this course count?

Professor: You know, there's something to be said for people who have something good to say and have the good sense to say it, but there's also something to be said for people who have nothing good to say and have the good sense not to say it!

Some folks have nothing of value to say, or, at the least, what they have to say is not appropriate for the time. May we all care more about decency than disdain. If we just have to criticize, and at times we do, can we at least be selective with our timing? We are better than our worst instinct. Well, maybe we're not, but we should aspire to be.

I again extend heartfelt condolences to Rush Limbaugh's loved ones. His legacy is secure, and replacing him is an impossibility. But the example he set has produced others who will shine because of his light.

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member.