Off! the Top of My Head

by Chad Armbruster

Stop the world, I've got news that will shock some, mortify others and the majority of you will care less than that one time you did that one thing with your girlfriend's older sister. After eight years of Cape-dom I've left town. Now, I'm pretty sure I've told everyone that I was leaving, but more than likely I've forgotten to tell someone. To that I say, if you'd done what I've done over that past six months you might forget a few things too, but on to something more family oriented. This month's topic for the masses is merely to say thank you and I'll start with the readers. Thank you to each and every one of you who read this magazine and my column. I can't begin to count the number of people who came to me and said that they read my last column. It's always nice to know that I'm really not just writing to a Compaq computer while listening to The Vandals.

You know thank you's are strange to me because, I don't know about you, but I really have issues about telling people thank you when it has to do with a sincere moment. I can say it countless times a day to people I don't even know but when it's someone I'm really good friends with I tend to choke at the last minute. How do I justify this? I figure that surely if anyone in this world knows that I'm thankful for their kindness it must be my friends. Right? Well, while I'm sure that's true, I've started to realize that saying thank you isn't just for family holidays and organized religious ceremonies. So, here I am with a thousand thank you's to say and limited word space to accomplish this. Let the Oscar style acceptance speech begin and while you may not know some of the following I'm willing to bet you know at least one of them.

Starting in no particular order I'll begin with the Buttz household. (I know a few of you must know him) Thank you for the beverages, company and being the constant refuge from the world of books, work, life and ex-wife. Thank you to Mr. Barry Bernhardt (Director of Activity Bands for Southeast Missouri State University) the fact that you thought I had talent is enough for a thank you, but you and you alone are the reason I listen to Jazz with such appreciation. Never let anyone tell you that Jazz isn't an acceptable form of music for music majors, after all they're just jealous because you get all the ladies. Thank you to the 4H house for being beautiful, supportive and an ego boost for me. Especially Heather Hackle, I'm not your type now but God willing I will be someday. Thank you to Susan Swartwout of the English department, without your honesty and encouragement I wouldn't even be writing this now. Your talent is something that I admire and I only hope that my writing can make you proud. Thank you to Sam, Craig, Josh and Cliff for being in the cross fire, all the while staying as diplomatic as Switzerland, and never saying a harsh word about my divorce, which is odd since you guys seem to have harsh words about everything.

Last but not least I'd like to thank my former roommates for their support and company. To Darrel I say thank you for the honesty, boldness and for that time we went to the "bar" across the river. To Jarrod I say thank you for being a source of good conversation, music, intelligence and Irish heritage. To Ron I say thank you for always being my friend no matter what comes along and here's to another twenty years of friendship. Always remember the words of the Boondock Saints gentlemen:

"Shepard's we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand. Our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In Nomine Patris et Filli, et Spiritus Sancti."-Murphy and Connor McManus

If you've never seen the movie Boondock Saints I highly recommend it and don't forget your rope while you're watching.

So, that's that and I hope I've not bored you too much with the sappiness of it all. I'm sorry if I was unable to mention my thank you's to some, but as I said I've limited space to praise everyone. I promise next month I'll be back to the same old Chad but with 50% more cleaning power. So with that in mind, please return to your seats and tray tables to their upright positions, Chad Armbruster has left the building.