June 3, 2009

Dear Julie,

A cell phone rang just after the service began at a recent funeral. If only the ringer had been "Amazing Grace." At least it wasn't "Baby Got Back." The minister looked confused for a few seconds and then good-naturedly reminded the mourners that this was a sacred occasion and cell phones should be turned off. Now, where was I?

Many of us haven't quite figured out how the still relatively new technological marvels fit into our lives. They fit some of our lives more comfortably than others.

DC and I don't have BlackBerrys. Her cell phone is hardly ever even in her purse. If so, it's not turned on. Chances are it isn't charged. Like Greta Garbo, DC sometimes wants to be left alone. I'm not much different. We're reclusive enough to be dismayed when the message light on our phone is blinking when we arrive home.

But in a restaurant a few days ago, we talked about how nice it would be at that moment to have a BlackBerry. We wanted to look at the St. Louis Cardinals schedule. Waiting half an hour to check when we got home seemed to stand in the way of formulating our plan to see a game.

A couple sat side by side in a nearby booth. They're really romantic, I thought at first. But they weren't talking to each other. She was checking her BlackBerry.

Our friend Don has become a BlackBerry zombie. Last week, Don spent the 15-minute drive home from the golf course checking his BlackBerry messages. My first reaction was to attempt to have a conversation in spite of the manic interaction he was having with the technological marvel in his palm. I gave up and drove in silence.

Now I know how President Obama felt when members of Congress began Tweeting as soon as he started his first State of the Union address.

Here are my non-BlackBerry user's rules of BlackBerry etiquette.

Don't:

* Turn your BlackBerry on in a darkened theater. The light is distracting and disconcerting.

* Drive your car and drive your BlackBerry at the same time. They should be mutually exclusive activities.

* Check messages while carrying on a conversation. You won't be holding up your end.

Do:

* Raise you head from time to time while crossing the street, just to keep from becoming a dead pedestrian.

I realize the writing is on the wall, so to speak. Last fall, the Missouri School of Journalism began requiring each freshman and prejournalism student to have an audio-video player with a web browser. A BlackBerry or equivalent is becoming essential to the modern work force.

We just have to learn how to use the tool and not let the tool use us, and not let checking for messages become our latest compulsion. Here in 2009, when everyone impatiently wants it now and might be able to get it now, we forget that anticipation has its own sweetness.

Garbo knew. "Is there anything better than to be longing for something, when you know it is within reach?" she asked.

Love, Sam

Sam Blackwell is a former reporter for the Southeast Missourian.