Living peaceably

I have had the privilege of officiating weddings. (Sometimes when the mother or the mother-in-law comes into the room the privilege ends). Every couple who gets married has to apply for a marriage license. It is a well-decorated document, but I'm convinced it's missing something. There needs to be a massive warning label plastered over the front in bright red letters. "Warning: You are about to get married. This is the hardest thing you will ever do. It will be one of the hardest things you will ever do. When you have children, it will just get harder. Marriage will take work. Marriage will take sacrifice. Enjoy your wedding day!"

I have a feeling that if that label were applied there would be a lot fewer weddings.

Relationships are tricky and easily harmed by a single word misunderstood, expectations not met and decisions that divide friendships. God knows relationships are hard. Romans 12:18 says "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

"If possible," two extremely powerful words. The word for that is used for "possible" is the same word that Alfred Nobel used to describe the most powerful discovery of the day, dynamite. That's powerful.

"If possible" means there is tremendous power resting in the hands of the one who is acting to live peaceably with all. The power to either explode our relationships or expand them deeper than we could imagine rests in our hands.

All relationships boil down to hard work. The first step toward healthy relationships is realizing that they take work. Work at discovering what makes your spouse tick. Observing what your children like and do not like, besides broccoli. Every relationship must overcome the influence of our family of origin. They are filtered through our personalities, life experiences and even the season of life that we are in. Those are all influences, but the power to direct the course of your relationships rests in your hands.

"If possible" means sometimes it's not possible. God never desires for relationships, particularly marriage, to end. When relationships explode they leave destruction. Where is the power then? The power then rests in picking up the pieces.

Relationships rise and fall on the power of our actions.

Rob Hurtgen is a husband, father, minister and writer. Read more from him at www.robhurtgen.wordpress.com.