Beneficial bond

Children face an increasing number of serious issues, and without a positive adult role model, they often struggle. January is National Mentoring Month, and local agencies are encouraging adults to "expand your universe" by mentoring a child.

Mollie Strickland, director of Lutheran Family and Children's Services, said mentoring is essentially about an adult willing to share with a child. For the child, time spent with a mentor translates into higher self-esteem and recognizing his worth as an individual.

"The child begins to realize their value as a person when they are treated with respect," she said.

She said adult mentors also benefit from their mentoring relationships.

"You realize the limits of others," Strickland said. "You begin to see progress, and you are amazed with what a lending hand can accomplish."

For almost nine years, Cheryl Klueppel of Cape Girardeau has been a big sister with Big Brothers Big Sisters. She said she became a mentor to Brianna, now 16, because she wanted to give back.

"Originally I just thought I had something to offer," Klueppel said. "I thought a lot of the program and when I started mentoring, the group was new to Cape Girardeau and was looking for mentors. I wanted to be useful, give a little of myself and maybe make a difference in a young person's life," Klueppel said.

She said over the years mentoring Brianna has not only taught her about herself but has exposed her to the challenges that others face.

"I have grown. Mentoring Brianna has taught me to open up and have honest conversations," she said. "It has opened my eyes to the challenges of youth today. I wouldn't have known those challenges if not for my experiences with her."

Klueppel said she and Brianna talk regularly and get together a couple of times a month, although when they were building their relationship, they were together much more often.

A typical outing for the two includes catching a movie and going out to eat at a Chinese restaurant.

Klueppel said she felt blessed in her life to have great mentors. She remembers her sixth-grade teacher and a college adviser as especially important in her development.

"I had so many good role models -- teachers, family, great parents -- they were able to bring good things out of me," Klueppel said. "I wanted the opportunity to give that back. It is paying it forward. It is a great program, and I encourage others to become a mentor."

Klueppel and Brianna have a mentoring relationship that Becky James-Hatter likes to refer to as "strong and long." James-Hatter, who serves as the president and chief executive officer of BBBS of Eastern Missouri, said that means there has to be a strong commitment, such as meeting several times a month, over a long period of time, which means at least one year.

"Mentoring is not something to do episodically. Relationships are powerful -- powerful positive or powerful negative. We are looking for the powerful positive. To get those positive benefits there has to be a strong understanding and trust," she said.

James-Hatter said children being mentored reap immediate and lasting benefits.

"For the short term, when a child does an activity for the first time, there is joy for having a new experience and they feel better about themselves. In the long term, these experiences bring a sense of wonderment to the child that someone cares about them," she said.

She said children who have these committed relationships begin to perform better in school, have better attendance records and tend to stay out of trouble.

"When children have a strong and long mentor, they grow up to be successful adults," James-Hatter said.

Chuck DiStefano, director of the Missouri Mentoring Partnership, said a special bond exists in the mentoring relationship. The relationship builds confidence and means there is an extra person who cares.

"It is someone in the community taking time and effort to guide," he said.

DiStefano added that while a mentor has a little more "real-world experience," they are not expected to have all the answers.

"You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be someone who cares and who will share life experiences," he said.