One of the greatest challenges of my Christian faith has been trying to look at my relationships as God would. Asking, "What does God have to say about being a husband, a father and a friend?" It's tough to take an honest and hard look at who I am, who God is and what He expects.

In The Sermon on the Mount found in the book of Matthew, Jesus summarizes everything he said with this phrase: "But you are to be perfect even as your heavenly Father is perfect." Not perfectionistic, but whole.

One of my several college roommates was a perfectionist. He had several knickknacks and memorabilia set out in his area of the 14-by-14 room we shared. There was one occasion he wasn't there and someone moved one of these things an inch to the left from where he had set it. When he came in the room in mid-conversation he walked right over to it and moved it back where it belonged, without missing a beat of the conversation. He knew where he wanted things to be and expected them to stay there. Unlike others he was able to keep his perfectionism to himself -- most of the time.

Perfectionistic people have a tendency to demand so much of themselves and others no one could meet their standard. They also will judge everyone they know who cannot meet the standard they cannot meet. If not careful, all of us can be this way

Jesus isn't calling for you and me to be perfectionistic but to be complete. The word Jesus used in the Bible also is used to describe a ship ready for the sea or a soldier ready for battle: Fully prepared to carry out the mission ahead.

With this idea, Jesus raises the bar on seeing who we are and the way which we relate to our friends, our spouse and even our enemies. The standard we rise to isn't our own. The standard we measure our relationships by is God.

The question isn't, "What am I supposed to do?" but, "How would God act?" How would God look at those I am angry with? How would God look at my enemies? How would God look at my spouse?

Then my job is to act accordingly.

Rob Hurtgen is a husband, father, minister and writer. Read more from him at www.robhurtgen.wordpress.com.