Last week Amity Shedd went on and on about the benefits of having curly hair. This week, I am going to give you five reasons why I absolutely hate having curly hair. Yes, the advantages Amity spoke of are legit: Every-other-day shampoos rather than daily and big hair (I love big hair). Those are the only two advantages I can think of.

1. Humidity. As a child I watched Bozo the Clown on television not realizing one day I would have his hairdo. As a small child I had white-blonde, loose curly hair, which, of course, is just absolutely adorable on a little girl. As I aged, my hair has dulled to a dirty, dishwater-blonde color, lightening only in the summer after being bleached by the sun. And the older I got, the kinkier my hair became. Summer months or rainy, humid days are absolute torture for this curly-haired lady, because the hair frizzes, and I have Bozo hair. So as a resident of Missouri and all its wonderful weather, I generally wear my hair in a ponytail.

2. Hats. I love hats. Big hats with feathers. Big hats with fruit. Big hats with jewels. You name it, I just like big hats. I also like cowboy hats (I used to barrel race) and baseball caps. Wearing these with the hair down is not the most appealing site because again, I look like Bozo the Clown. In 2003 I was the Sikeston Jaycee Bootheel Rodeo Queen. It poured down rain at the Saturday night performance and my hair was a frizzy mess. I straightened it all four nights of the rodeo and by the night's end the humidity had fried it. Just call me the Bozo Hair Rodeo Queen.

3. Straighteners. Yes, it is possible to straighten my hair with the common ceramic straighteners you can find at nearly any store, but it would take me an hour just to straighten it -- not to mention styling it, and quite frankly I just don't have an extra hour. Not to mention the good straightener is more than $100, and when it comes to money I am very frugal; if I can't make it or buy a good used one cheap, well, then I just don't need it.

4. Amity said last week, "You (almost) never have a bad hair day. You can do almost anything with curly hair: messy ponytail, messy bun, messy braid, just messy. Anything goes because your hair is permanently styled." My desk is adjacent to Amity's and her hair always looks fabulous. Mine, on the other hand, is usually an ugly mess. Four out of five days a week it's up in a frizzy ponytail bun. This is just easier than fighting with it on a daily basis, although I do hate looking like a bum.

5. The comments. People I run into often say, "Oh, you have curly hair. Do you know how much money people pay to have what you have. You are so lucky." I hear this at least once a week. Let me just say this -- No. 1, I don't think a perm is near the trouble fixing as kinky natural curls are, and No. 2, those people can pay to have their hair curly if that is what they want. I, on the other hand, would pay to have it straight if I weren't so tight with money. So I will keep on complaining, until my life's end, about my dirty, dishwater, kinky, curly hair and try to remember that God gave me this head of hair to remind me there are just some things out of my control.

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