Make a wedding list ... and check it twice (or more)

A wedding generally is the result of a simple yes-or-no question: "Will you marry me?"

Life between that event and the actual wedding, however, might be far from simple.

A subsequent yes-or-no question may be, "Should we hire a wedding planner?" Whether the answer is in the affirmative or negative, there are decisions to be made. A planner can manage the entire event or produce a wedding game plan that is then self-managed and executed.

Other help is available. A recent check at a local bookstore revealed no less that 50 different books on the topic of wedding planning -- advice from Martha Stewart, Emily Post and Colin Cowie -- and even the non-flattering "Wedding Planning for Dummies." And websites on the topic abound.

To get the ball rolling, there's a short and broad list of to-dos, and, ultimately, a lengthy checklist of details that will make the wedding day stress-free and fun for the bride and groom and everyone involved.

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To answer the question of "when," the "where" needs to be decided. It may be best to determine a range of dates or a season for the wedding, and then scout, and ultimately book, a venue, whether it's a church, country club ballroom, winery or city park.

These days, it seems, a wedding is more than a wedding. A wedding may have a theme -- shabby chic, Gatsby-era glamour, rustic country, leather and lace, charming elegance -- beyond selecting a color palette for the bridal party apparel and décor. Books, magazines and websites are good sources of ideas when selecting a theme and how to carry it off.

Another upfront to-do is to establish a budget and determine who is paying for what. Some online sites, in addition to general wedding-planning tools, have interactive budgeting applications that can help ensure nothing is overlooked and that the dollars will stretch all the way down the aisle.

Playing into the budget, of course, is the number of wedding guests, so it's helpful to draft an early list of those to invite.

One little-thought-of task is to insure the engagement ring, either with a rider to an existing homeowners' or renters' policy or through a company that specializes in jewelry insurance.

Here is a suggested timetable of steps to be taken in the months, weeks and days leading up to the wedding -- assuming the wedding is nine to 12 months in the future.

9 to 12 months before

Choose a wedding date. If planning to marry in a church, temple or mosque or in a religious service elsewhere, clear the date and time with the clergy.

Reserve reception site.

Announce engagement in relevant newspapers.

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Set a budget.

Enlist help of wedding planner, if desired.

Draft guest list.

Consider sending "save-the-date"cards so guests - especially those traveling - may make plans.

Choose bridal party.

Invite those who may have a role in the ceremony, such as candle-lighter, lector, etc.

Select wedding gown, shoes and accessories.

Decide on bridesmaids' dresses.

Determine reception theme or mood with table settings, party favors, décor, flowers and entertainment.

Interview caterers, musicians, florists, photographers, videographers and bakers. Obtain written estimates. Keep track of discussions and bids in a notebook or with online wedding-planning application.

Register at one or more gift registries in advance of engagement parties and showers.

Schedule engagement portrait session.

6 months before

Select caterer.

Choose musicians/entertainment.

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Book photographer/videographer.

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Select florist.

Select baker and order cake.

Select a calligrapher to address wedding invitations, if desired.

Finalize color scheme.

Shop for wedding rings.

Decide on honeymoon destination and book travel and accommodations.

Select wedding invitations; purchase personal stationery for thank-you notes.

4 months before

Help mothers and grandmothers coordinate and shop for their wedding-day attire.

Bride holding bouquet of roses

Select music for ceremony and reception.

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Choose readings for the ceremony and select or write wedding vows.

Plan rehearsal dinner for members of wedding party, family and out-of-town guests. Reserve location.

Arrange overnight accommodations for out-of-town members of the wedding party. Reserve a block of rooms for other out-of-town guests, and let them know rooms are available.

Determine transportation needs to and from church and reception and reserve.

Make appointments for gown fittings.

Check requirements for wedding license and assemble required documents, such as birth or baptismal certificates.

Double check arrangements and contracts with service providers.

3 months before

Begin addressing invitations and announcements.

Select a special stamp at the post office, and ensure postage is adequate for the invitation, which may be oversized and will include a response card and a stamped and addressed return envelope.

Mail invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding.

Provide caterer and other suppliers with approximate number of guests.

Make sure all honeymoon travel plans are in place.

Check with bridesmaids to ensure they have dresses and are having adjustments made if necessary.

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Select gifts for wedding attendants.

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Make appointment with photographer for any desired formal portraits.

Make appointment with hairdresser to discuss style possibilities with headpiece to be worn for wedding and to do a style test run.

Make appointment with makeup artist and do a test run of the desired look.

2 months before

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Mail wedding invitations.

Have wedding portraits taken.

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Send bridal portrait and announcement to newspapers for publication.

Finalize music to be played and performed during ceremony.

Meet with those providing entertainment at reception and outline precisely what is to be played and when -- including volume level, desired songs and off-limit songs.

Plan rehearsal dinner.

Plan brunch or other activity for out-of-town guests to enjoy the day after the wedding.

Review wedding-day accessories.

Plan luncheon for bridesmaids.

Make appointments with hairdresser, manicurist and makeup artist.

Finalize honeymoon plans.

1 month before

Obtain marriage license.

Have final fitting of gown, and ensure attendants have theirs.

Confirm menu selections and service plans with caterer.

Obtain book to keep track of wedding gifts as they arrive.

Write thank-you notes as gifts arrive.

If reception includes a formal dinner, draw up seating plan and create placecards.

Check with florist to confirm dates and times of floral deliveries.

Review wedding-day transportation plans to ensure drivers are clear on addresses, times and number of passengers.

Make name and/or address changes official on appropriate documents such as driver's license, Social Security forms and financial accounts.

Complete change-of-address forms.

Meet with photographer to specify desired formal shots as well as candid shots to be taken during reception.

Review plans with videographer.

Make arrangements with friend or family member to handle wedding gifts that may be brought to reception to have them delivered home or another safe place.

2 weeks before

Pick up wedding rings and check for size and engravings.

Begin packing for honeymoon.

Wrap gifts for attendants and have ready for rehearsal dinner.

1 week before

Do final check-ins with vendors, officiant, musicians, photographer/videographer, transportation provider, caterers, florist and baker.

See that checks are written and ready to be handed to vendors at the agreed-upon time.

Advise caterer of final number of guests.

Confirm that out-of-town guests are set with accommodations, transportation and directions.

The day before

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Take time to relax.

Enjoy the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

Turn in early for a good night's sleep.

The wedding day

Allow plenty of time for hairstyling, makeup and dressing.

If photography is planned before the ceremony, allow ample time.

Try to relax and enjoy the special day, the result of careful planning, surrounded by family and friends who wish the bride and groom all the best in their new life together.