Five of Clubbs: Forty-one years young

"Face it girls, I'm older and I have more insurance."

-- Evelyn Couch, "Fried Green Tomatoes"

I don't think I would ever go so far as to repeatedly rear end the car of someone who took my parking spot (even if its occupants told me they were younger and faster) like Evelyn did in this movie. But, as I complete the first year of my 40s, I'm reflecting on the ease and confidence this new decade of life gives me. There's just a certain freedom that comes with knowing it's not your first rodeo, that, well, you don't have when it IS your first rodeo.

I mean, I'm still a bundle of neuroses, anxieties, insecurities and doubts, but here, in no particular order, are a few of the things that have happened in the past year that give me hope that, despite new creases around my eyes and grays in my hair, maybe getting older can be awesome: I got a tattoo.

I explained why I don't try to hide my true self to someone by saying, "I'm 40. I don't have TIIIIIME to mess around."

I went out for a beer with my boss after work. AND, during our second round, started talking freely about funny things my kids do instead of just work.

I traveled to Costa Rica on an educational tour with my oldest daughter and tried out my fledgling Spanish, even though I made mistakes and sometimes didn't understand the answers to my questions.

I strive to have a healthy diet, but also feel wine and chocolate are non-negotiable.

I ran and walked 40 miles at the Aslinger Endurance Run. I didn't go the fastest or the farthest, but I met my goal. Afterward, I treated myself to a caramel-pretzel-coconut concrete at Andy's. One of my students was in line in front of me. I knew he was trying to be polite in the face of his salty, sweaty, disheveled teacher, so I happily announced, "I just covered 40 miles." He nodded and said, "I thought you looked a little winded." We both laughed.

I have embraced leggings as pants and I am thinking of investing in a really good bra as my birthday present to myself.

I put temporary purple highlights in my hair over the university's spring break and plan to put permanent ones in over the summer. I don't know about the red hat, but this might be the first stage of "when I am an old woman, I shall wear purple."

I am going back to school again.

I find the words, "I love you," "thank you," "I'm sorry" and "I made a mistake" come easier (or at least, with less hesitancy or difficulty).

It's this interesting time of life where I am still trying to figure "it" out, even though I know I probably never will. At least I think I am getting a better idea of what "it" is.