Baby Steps: The village must again gather to help raise the children

By Kristen Pind

Have you heard the saying it takes a village? Hillary Clinton made the saying famous with the title of her 1996 book about her vision for the children of America, but the saying has been around much longer than that. It means that you don't have to raise a child alone, you can get help from not only your family but also others who have gone before you. Each mother is a wealth of knowledge just begging to be used.

I was raised in a single-parent home. My mother had a lot on her plate being a full-time elementary music teacher as well as mom to two girls. She did a great job, but she had her village. She not only had the neighbors who used to keep an eye out when we walked home from school, and our family who helped out, but also strangers as well. I remember being about 8 or 9 and a lady I didn't know put her hand out in front of me and stopped me from walking into the street and getting hit by a car. There was the shop clerk whobrought my mom my 3-year-old sister who thought hiding in the clothing racks was the way to spend time while mom tried on clothes. The teacher who explained to me I shouldn't talk to that man on the other side of the playground fence because he was a stranger.

All of these people used to look out for each other. We used to be a village. But where has our village gone? Last week while enjoying the park with my kids I saw a child struggle to reach the water fountain. Sitting next to him were two other mothers; no one offered to help him, no one even looked at him. Across the playground were two other boys sword fighting with large pointy sticks. I have no idea who they came with and if there was an adult at the park with them, but I was concerned for their safety.

At Target, it was the little girl standing in the doll aisle alone. The teen at the mall I saw sliding a tube of lipstick into her pocket. These are all things that when I was growing up in the 1990s any adult would have come up to me and offered help, offered me advice or told me I was making a mistake. In today's society we ignore these things because we are all too scared to stand up and help each other, worried we might offend or have someone disagree.

I will be the first to say I need help, so please help me. If you see either of my children making a bad decision, please help them. Tell them they shouldn't poke each other with that stick or that they have to look both ways before crossing the parking lot. If you see my child struggling at the water fountain or unable to reach the towels in the restroom, please help. If you see my child about to commit a felony, stop them. And then tell me. Tell me you understand I can't see everything at once and you wanted to help. Let me know you have been there; tell me about a time your child disappeared at the grocery store or stole a few grapes from the produce section. Commiserate with me, and then smile and tell me you are rooting for me.

We need to up our game. We as parents need to stop being so afraid of messing up that we stop helping all together. I promise to stop and help your child if you promise to stop and help mine. It does take a village. Let's put our village back together before it's too late.