How to really love yourself

By Ellen Shuck

How important is it to really love yourself? Everyone has heard the commandment, "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31). That alone tells you that it isn't wrong to love yourself.

In fact, Jesus places such value on the self that he tells you to love others the same as yourself. It means you can't give away love to others if you don't first love that person called "you."

Before I reveal the ways you can learn to truly love yourself, I want to tell you about an incident I read in a book about psychological issues.

A young woman was admitted to intensive care at a local hospital. She had attempted suicide.

Finally, she groggily opened her eyes and found her voice.

"Where am I?" she asked. "What am I doing here and why are you here?" she inquired of the doctor, standing by her bed.

"I am here to help you learn to love yourself again," the psychiatrist replied.

The woman struggled to keep back the tears as she said, "I hate myself; I want to die."

With much gentle care and therapy, the woman recovered and found reason to live and be happy.

I'm unsure what her life consisted of, but everyone experiences different scenarios within their view of the world.

Perhaps someone who fails to love himself/herself has been subjected to negative criticism and lack of support from those around.

One word can ruin someone's perception of himself/herself, especially if the person already is victimized by low self-confidence.

Look within yourself and see if you can identify the reason for your depressed mood.

Often, you don't realize it's because you're angry with someone, a major cause of depression.

If someone is angry with you, refuse to give their anger control over your peace. It's their problem and only becomes yours if allowed, but you have choice over your anger.

Now, how can you learn to love yourself better? There are many ways that are simple once you know the strategy.

I want to stress that one needs to see a professional if he/she can't control depression.

Compliment yourself. If you're looking in the mirror, recognize your good points. God made you in his image.

Look as good as you can and know you're beautiful or handsome. God doesn't make junk. Who said only tall and slim, straight-nose and soon was the criteria for beauty? We all are beautiful in God's eyes.

Congratulate yourself on a job well done. You have that right. If you're around people who put you down, shrug it off and cheer yourself on.

Your judgment of you is what counts. I finally adapted that bit of advice.

When I grew up, my family was encouraging, but they were careful to refrain from bragging on me too much, making me conceited.

Recently, though, I admitted to a retail store employee that I was really proud of myself.

I was a novice at using the self-service checkout, but I was determined to learn. I never like to be behind in what's new.

I felt like I skillfully did all the right things at the self-serve register. It was a new experience, and I was elated that I made not one mistake. That was such a small thing, but I loved myself more because I mastered it.

Begin to notice how many things you can do, how much fortitude you can exhibit, the patience you have.

You may have learned to cook a new dish. Be proud of all your accomplishments and the good things you do. You will find you're a great person. Be the kind of individual you can admire.

Rather than wanting to get away from it all, you will want to march forward with a self you can admire, depend on and love.

Love yourself and enjoy your companionship. Remember that "with God, all things are possible" (Matthew 19-26).