Don't expect life to be perfect and you'll find it is

By Ellen Shuck

Your evaluation of your life is your own. No one determines your perspective on what happens, except you. I write often about life, attitude, misfortune and how to best derive joy when it's all over.

To begin with, know that life is messy. Almost everything begins with ugliness that ultimately turns to beauty. If you're a giving person, you'll know it's what you contribute that brings your greatest happiness.

People run to and fro, trying to rush through the unpleasant so they can arrive at an ocean-side resort, watch a movie, or go out and eat--whatever brings pleasure. Then when you're stationed in your sunny or cold destination, you strive to keep cool or warm, the opposite of what you went for. Although you're spending time with family and friends, you often think of your warm or cool house at home. I'm not knocking vacations. They are wonderful, but go for the right reason.

Depending on your purpose for the hiatus, you may come back rested and joyful, or more unsettled and exhausted than when you departed. I love going to the beach, but I dislike all the sand that sticks to my excessive application of suntan lotion. I dislike always having to apply lotions, but I don't want to have burned skin that turns to blisters.

A teenager accompanied us on a beach-side trip, and it will probably never happen again. He became overly sunburned and made everyone miserable -- particularly himself.

When babies are born, it is absolutely a messy scene. Mom often endures much discomfort, yet the results of all the unpleasant happenings during the pregnancy, the birth becomes a beautiful process producing a new life. Regardless of the actual physical beauty of the infant, parents believe the child is undoubtedly the best ever.

Jack was the proud owner of a wonderful pet. Bella was a beautiful, big, fluffy feline with grey hair. He thought she was perfect -- she was his cat. All was well until it was time to clean and change the kitty litter. He refused. He didn't want to touch anything involving the job. I explained to him that nothing is perfect. All beauty has a price to pay. The coveted ownership of Bella called for some messiness, as well as pleasure.

The same holds true for literally everything you encounter. Marriages usually begin with a vision impossible to maintain. Life gets in the way. Everyday living forces reality upon you. So is reality the end to perfection?

No, indeed. The beautiful part of life is that you can make your own perfection by how you perceive what can't be avoided -- by being able to change, accept and endure what you must.

I enjoy a vacation to the beach, even with the sticky sand on my body, because I am with people about whom I care. The teenager finally realized you don't own a pet without incurring some unpleasant chores -- some messiness. It's all in the nature of the beast.

If you earn a college degree, that certificate of graduation looms large and beautiful on your wall. Do you remember how much grief, exhaustion and stress went into the attainment of it? Now, you'll put on your rose-colored glasses and look for that perfect job. Is it there? Possibly, but a large part of it will be up to your interpretation.

There is no perfection in anything. Perfection lies within your mind and heart. Accept what you can do and what you're given -- a tumble-down house or a mansion, servanthood or kingship. Perfection can live or be absent in both. Light always overcomes the darkness. "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (John 1:5).