Trusting the presence of God

My friend Father Bill loved sunflowers. Behind his desk, he kept a painting of a field of sunflowers that a student had made for him, and he would tell the other students and me, "Be like a sunflower -- always keep your face turned toward the sun."

A few weeks ago we planted sunflowers at the greenhouse where I work. They didn't bloom for a week or so, and we were all waiting.

During this time, I'd also been praying about a life decision and didn't feel like I was receiving any sort of peace either way that the decision could go.

Then, one cloudy day when I walked by the sunflowers at work, there it was: one lone sunflower blooming.

The part that really caught my attention? Even though it was cloudy, its face was turned toward where the sun would be if the sun had been out. It couldn't see the sun, but the sunflower was there, present, open and waiting, faithful and faith-filled that the sun would show up, and ready when it did.

This reminded me that when I can't see answers, or even when I can't see God, God is here. I just need to keep my face turned toward God, trusting God's presence and God's care and provision for me -- like sunflowers do.

I think waiting in prayer is something Elijah understood. He's told in 1 Kings 19:11-13 that God will "be passing by," and he should go outside to meet God.

First, however, he has to withstand strong winds, an earthquake and a fire, waiting through each of these phenomena until he understands within himself that it is God calling to him at the opening of the cave, rather than something that could hurt him.

I love how the writer of 1 Kings portrays this moment in verses 12-13 (NAB): "After the fire, there was a tiny whispering sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave."

Elijah then received his instructions from God. The instructions and answers aren't the point of this story for me, and aren't what resonate most within me; it's Elijah's moment of recognition, when he somehow knows deep inside himself that he is in God's presence and that God is holy and surprising and not what he expected, and also completely right, that matters the most. It's the fact that God shows up and speaks to Elijah in a way that is soft and gentle and not terrifying, in a way that speaks somehow directly to Elijah's heart, in a way that his being recognizes. It's the truth that God is there, and so is Elijah. Maybe it's about presence more than it is about answers.

It's this gift of the assurance of God's presence that means something to me, that encourages me in the times of living and waiting to keep my face turned toward the Son.