Keeping the love alive

By Robert Hurtgen

The month of February means three things: soon there will be warmer days than cold, spring training begins. and Valentine's Day will be celebrated.

While the Bible does not speak to Valentine's Day, it has much to say about love, marriage and cultivating our most important relationships. Between work schedules, the kids' sports and activities, and other commitments, time-starved people could really use some encouraging and simple ways to cultivate their relationships. Allow me to offer four.

Date daily

Every day connect with your spouse in more ways than simply keeping the family calendar straight. Yes, you need to know who is dropping off and picking up whom, but limiting your only daily connection to a shared calendar slowly will drain the intimacy in your marriage. Even if it is for only a few minutes before the lights turn out, take the intentional action to date daily.

Date weekly

I love the idea of a weekly date night. My wife and I have five wonderful children, I get to be the pastor of a great church, and I love my wife more than we first met. But the idea of adding a mandatory night out each week at this stage in life is simply unrealistic. We can, however, date weekly.

You don't have to leave the house to have a weekly date. Find a show on your ultra-deluxe, 500-channel cable network you both enjoy. On a warmer day, go for a walk in the neighborhood. The idea of dating weekly is to intentionally create a moment to spend together, to remember why you married each other in the first place.

Date monthly

Get out. Seriously, get out of the house.

Yes, I just gave you a list of reasons to stay in, but in all honesty, you still need to get out. At least once a month go out with your spouse. If jobs allow, extend your lunch breaks. Save some money with a babysitting swap, watching your friend's children one week and them watching your children the next week. There are some creative ways to go out at least once a month.

Date yearly

Finally, get away. No kids. No commitments. Just get away. If you schedule this sometime around your anniversary, your children will appreciate this, and so will your spouse.

Relationships never happen by accident, but if neglected, they naturally degrade. With intentional actions, even the most time-starved marriage can thrive.