We moved from Nebraska back in 1979 and went to Bartlesville, Oklahoma, where I attended ministerial school. We weren't real sure as to what we would do after I had graduated. We simply felt led to go to college in Bartlesville. I hadn't really felt like I was called to be a pastor, but we did feel like we were being led into missions of some kind. We had visited Brainerd Indian School up in South Dakota many times and thought it would be neat to go there and help the staff. So we loaded up all we had, which wasn't all that much, and headed to Oklahoma.

I think the hardest part for us was leaving our family and friends. We knew one person in Bartlesville, and we didn't know Richard all that well. Bartlesville was about 700 miles from our home country in Nebraska. I know it was a long way and many hours of driving. Once there we'd get homesick, and we'd feel the urge to go back home, so we'd load up towards evening and head for Nebraska. If we drove at night, the boys would sleep which offered some relief from the bickering and fighting and "Are we there yet!" So we'd drive in some time the next day. But we were back with family. Probably the hardest ones we had to leave were my mom and Marge's mom and dad. Mom was getting up in years and so were Marge's parents.

Most of our family was located in Nebraska back then. Marge's sister who passed a year ago or so was in California, but the rest was in Nebraska. So we'd stay with family and spend all the time we could with them. We'd mix in a little fishing, but most of the time was visiting and eating and relaxing with family.

One thing about family is we only have so many of them. Marge had three sisters and one brother and I had two sisters and one brother, but this was it. Two of Marge's sisters have passed away since then, so she is down to one brother and one sister. I still have my two older sisters and brother. What a blessing our family is. I try to call my family when I can. My sisters are considerably older than I am, but Mick is 23 months younger. So I probably call Mick several times a week.

I enjoy visiting about the weather and what they've been eating and how they are feeling, besides the common ailments of being on the old side of 60. My one sister likes to cook so we talk food. My other sister likes to go visit and read and do crossword puzzles. Mick lives out in the country so we talk deer and coyotes. The point is, stay in contact.

Last summer when we drove back to Nebraska, we looked up two of my cousins who I had probably never met. If I had met them, it was back when we were really young and little. I just don't remember meeting them. But when we met Les and Jim, there was a tie there that was special. They were kin. We talked some about their moms who were sisters of Dad's. I had been around their parents so I knew all four of them. I really wish we would have had more time so we could have sat and visited and even ate a few meals together. Maybe the next time.

There were something like 13 kids born into my Dad's parent's family. Some of them stayed in Nebraska and some moved out of state. It is interesting that even those who moved out of state and I never met seemed like family. Facebook has allowed me to get in contact with kinfolk I've never met and get to know them through posts and pictures. Pretty darn neat. A lot of people complain about Facebook and it's evils, and it can be abused, but there are a lot of positive benefits to Facebook.

It seems like so many families today are fractured families. Divorce and father absence is tearing our families apart. A good friend of mine had some children from a former marriage and his wife also had children from a former marriage, and then these two had some children, so there were his and hers and theirs. But one thing he made plain right up front was they were all his children. Hers and theirs were just as important as his. They were all his children. I thought this was neat. They were all family. Many today have adopted children of all colors. Those I know treat them just as if they were natural-born kids of their own. I think that is awesome. That's family.

There are times when noses get bent out of shape between kinfolk and hard feelings happen. So maybe it's been years since kinfolk haven't talked and visited. Sad but true. And some never make up. They go to their graves not speaking to kinfolk or having anything to do with them. I've preached at funerals where the feud was present and evident. Sad. There is an old saying: "Kiss and make up" comes to mind. You might want to skip the kiss part, but don't skip the make up part. Now may be the only time you have to make up with your kin.

One last thing. Phone lines go both ways. Don't wait for them to call. Just pick up the phone and give them a call. I'm betting both of you will feel better.