MARK MY WORD: PARENTS 'PICK UP' PLENTY OF EXERCISE WITHOUT LEAVING HOME

The folks at the Missouri Department of Transportation want to get more than our roads in shape. They want to fix us up too.

The agency has launched its "Pick Up for Fitness" promotional campaign designed to get us to pick up litter along the state's highways because we need the exercise.

The goal, it seems, is to beautify us while also helping the environment.

Stacy Armstrong, MoDOT's Adopt-A-Highway coordinator, is now taking on the job of fitness guru for the state.

She says fitness experts calculate that a person can burn up to 300 calories an hour by picking up all those beer cans, burger wrappers and other assorted junk that finds its way onto our roadsides.

Litter-getter exercises, touted by Armstrong and her cohorts, include the Styrofoam Squat (squatting down to pick up litter) and the Garbage Grab (bending over with knees slightly bent, reaching out and grabbing a piece of litter. There's also the Litter Lunge which requires hardy souls to lunge forward to pick up roadside debris.

MoDOT sent out a news release late to promote 10 litter-getter exercises, including the Tie-and-Lift, which involves tying, lifting and carrying a junk-filled trash bag to the side of the road.

Personally, I couldn't be happier. It's nice to know that my tax dollars are going for such a worthwhile cause.

It's reassuring to know we don't have to go to the gym to work out after all. No longer will we have to feel miserable for letting our health club memberships expire.

Picking up roadside litter may be a good way for single people to exercise, but parents don't need such an incentive.

They've already mastered the art of bending down to pick up junk in their own homes.

In our home, Becca and Bailey regularly leave toys, dolls, clothes and other assorted items scattered around the house.

In our home, gravity seems to hold full control over our children's belongings, which drop to the carpet as if they were being pulled down by an unseen magnet.

At 5 years old, Bailey is particularly prone to this gravity hold. Nine-year-old Becca has done a better job of resisting gravity's pull, although she does have a habit of leaving shorts, tops and even books on the floor.

Like most parents, Joni and I have done our share of cleanup duties. We just never realized it was good for our health.

Perhaps, it would be more fun to pick up junk along the state's highways and byways, provided that our children aren't weaving in and out of traffic.

Of course, before we could all pile into the van, I'd want to clean it up first. After cleaning it up, I'd be ready to take a break. After all, fitness experts will tell you, it's important not to overdo.

Besides, as parents, there's always enough chores around the house to more than make up for all that highway litter we miss.

Perhaps, MoDOT should look beyond roadside exercises and give us some pointers on cleaning the kids' room, or, better yet, provide us some free trash bags for our homes.

We'd all feel better about paying those highway taxes and the state would have the satisfaction of knowing that it was helping us get in shape without so much as a video tape.

With MoDOT's backing, it would only be a matter of time until even our kids bagged it.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.