I'm all for ringing in the new year, but this is ridiculous.
Our children have difficulty getting going in the morning. More precisely, they're comatose when the sun comes up. Getting Becca and Bailey out of bed is no easy task.
Announcing the new day just doesn't work.
"Time to get up, rise and shine," Joni and I routinely tell our kids.
But Becca often remains sound asleep in her top bunk. Bailey, in the bottom bunk, also seems dead to the world.
In an effort to address the problem, Joni recently bought an electric alarm clock for the kids' room.
It makes a terrible ringing noise that goes on and on until you turn it off.
Joni and I were certain that no one could sleep through such a wake-up call.
We were wrong.
The alarm clock gets us out of bed. Invariably, we walk into the kids' bedroom only to find the children still sound asleep, oblivious to the alarm clock clanging away only a few feet from their heads.
Only after repeated urgings from us, do our children finally come to life. Even then, they move like turtles.
"Get dressed or you'll be late for the bus," we advise Becca.
At 8 years of age, she can get herself dressed and ready for school, provided that she is awake.
And waking up is hard to do. Upon first awaking, she often sits on her bed, a perfect picture of still life.
Meantime, the minutes pass by. Becca's still hunting for clothes to wear.
Generally, she manages to catch the school bus. She's helped in large part by the fact the bus stop is just down the street, two houses away.
A neighbor's daughter, who also takes the bus, regularly knocks on our door in the morning. Her greetings help get Becca out the door and ready for another school day.
Becca's sister, 4-year-old Bailey, is still in her pajamas when the school bus visits our neighborhood.
Bailey goes to day care. Of course, Joni and I must first get her dressed.
That can be a chore since Bailey often is content to hang out in her pajamas.
Once you manage to get her dressed, you still have to drag her away from those mesmerizing morning cartoons. You've also got to keep track of her "Buddy Bear" and other assorted stuffed animals that accompany her to day care.
Unlike Becca, our youngest daughter has an appetite. She wants breakfast.
She used to accept Cheerios in a plastic bag. That way, she could eat on the run.
But these days, she wants ready-made waffles that we heat up in the toaster. She loves to butter the waffles and pour on the syrup.
"We've got to go," I tell her. "I'm late to work."
I fret over getting her moving. She looks up and smiles. "Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, Daddy," she tells me when I put her breakfast on the table.
Halfway through, she's done. I grab a few bites from what is left on her plate and help her get her coat on.
Of course, we still can't depart until her sippy cup of juice and all her stuffed animals are safely stowed in the car.
When we get across town to the day care, Bailey slowly exits the vehicle.
At her age, life's unhurried. She slowly walks toward the front doors of the day care. Once inside, she continues at her leisurely pace through the outer lobby and into the children's area where classmates are at play.
She proceeds at a slow pace to her "cubby." She crams her stuffed animals into the plastic container.
All is right with the world, just as long as you don't rush her.
No doubt, getting our children to move faster will require a much larger alarm clock and some plastic explosives.
But even that likely won't get Becca and Bailey to jump out of bed unless it's the weekend. Some things can be alarming even when they're not plugged in.
Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.
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