MARK MY WORD: THE SHOWER IS THE PERFECT STAGE FOR MELODICALLY-CHALLENGED DAD

I'm singing in the rain. OK, more accurately, I'm singing in the shower.

I wouldn't be caught dead singing in the rain. Gene Kelly, I'm not.

Showers, I'm convinced, were made for singing.

It's a whole lot better than in centuries past when mankind had to make do with an infrequent, hot bath in a barrel. It's tough to belt out a ballad in a barrel.

Showers allow those of us who can't carry a tune to sing away without fear of offending anyone but ourselves.

For some of us, it would be tough to start the day if we couldn't belt out a song in the shower or at least something that passes as a tune.

Showers are a treat for tune-challenged people. It allows us to at least briefly enjoy our singing even if the rest of the family doesn't.

I've even been known to make up songs, which I sing over and over like a broken record. My wife, Joni, tolerates my shower songs. But it's clear that she and our daughters don't understand my morning ritual.

Come to think of it, I've never heard Joni or daughters Becca and Bailey sing in the bathtub.

They prefer baths to showers, which explains their lack of bathroom ballads.

Showers offer a natural stage for singing. A bath, after all, will get you just as clean. But it doesn't allow you to croon the way you can with all that running water.

Becca and Bailey have been known to scream at bath time, and giggle at other times. But bathtub singing doesn't interest them. They prefer to perform in the living room before an audience of mom and dad.

Even their Barbie dolls don't care about shower singing. Baking an imaginary cake is perfectly acceptable for bath time, but they strictly avoid shower singing.

I mention all this because we are approaching the Unilever Home and Personal Care-USA Singing in the Shower Contest, which officially kicks off in April.

Unilever makes soaps and hair care products. It also sponsors the singing contest. This is the fifth year the company has encouraged the nation's shower singers to step out from behind the vinyl curtain.

Wal-Mart is co-sponsoring the event. Top prizes include $1,000 gift certificates to the giant discount store.

Only in America would we have a shower singing contest. But let's face it, we're a nation of contestants.

We love to come on down when the price is right.

The trouble with this contest is you have to come up with an original song whose lyrics include the names of Unilever products.

I don't have anything against the makers of Dove, but I prefer commercial-free shower singing. It's more natural that way.

Besides, I don't want an audience. Shower singing is a strictly private endeavor.

No one wins a Grammy for singing in the shower, although I'm certain even topnotch performers have on occasion sung a few tunes in the tub.

As a dad, I hope my kids will come to appreciate shower songs, but I'm not holding my breath. After all, it's tough to sing a shower song that way.

But with today's modern showers, there's no longer any reason to sing in the rain unless you're a song bird.

In the shower, not even Barbies can rain on your parade.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.