MARK MY WORD: IF YOU USE THE WORD 'STINKS' IN A POEM, KIDS LOVE IT

There's nothing like a little poetry to make life enjoyable.

Just ask Becca, who has suddenly discovered that rhyming poems can be almost as much fun as playing video games.

Our 8-year-old came home from school the other day and began reciting her favorite poem in a library book of children's verses.

"Homework! Oh, homework! I hate you! You stink!" That's just the first line. It gets better.

"I wish I could wash you away in the sink, if only a bomb would explode you to bits, Homework! Oh, homework! You're giving me fits," Jack Prelutsky wrote in his poem.

According to the poem, it would be better to take baths with a man-eating shark or wrestle a lion alone in the dark. Eating spinach and liver would be better too, as would petting 10 porcupines.

"Homework! Oh, homework! You're last on my list. I simply can't see why you even exist," Becca exuberantly recites.

In just one day, she memorized the whole poem. She merrily recites it to us over and over like some new found mantra.

Thank goodness, it isn't homework or we might have to bring in the bomb squad.

I have my doubts about this bath thing. It's one thing to talk about taking a bath and quite another to do it.

Becca isn't big on baths and she certainly doesn't want to be shark bait.

Forget the spinach and liver, we're happy when Becca eats chicken nuggets.

Petting porcupines sounds pretty prickly to me. Personally, I'd prefer some basic homework rather than assorted puncture wounds.

Becca says the problem with homework is that it "wastes too much time," with the exception of math assignments.

We're not sure how she came to like math so much. Neither of her parents is a math whiz. Not surprisingly for journalists, we prefer to calculate in words rather than numbers.

In a few days, Becca has recited the "homework" poem so much that even her 4-year-old sister is tiring of it.

"I've heard it a thousand times," Bailey cried out as Becca proceeded to turn our Ford Taurus into her own personal reading room.

I confess, you won't find this poem in a literature class unless it's one for second graders. But you have to admit it does have a ring to it.

It's better than that "roses are red, violets are blue" verse that we all recite.

It's hard to resist a poem read by an enthusiastic reader who knows how to say "you stink" with feeling. Presidential candidates would do well to take note.

Although the "homework" poem is clearly her favorite, she has ventured to read a few of the other poems in the book.

"I wonder why dad is so thoroughly mad," says Becca. It's not a question. She is reciting another poem as we get ready for bed.

"I can't understand it at all, unless it's the bee still afloat in his tea, or his underwear, pinned to the wall."

Becca likes that last part. She laughs every time. Apparently, it was a big hit at school, too.

There's also a part in there about a pipeful of gum and a toilet sealed tightly with glue.

There need to be warning labels on these poems. "Do not try this at home. Disregard any similarity to your father."

Becca's book even has a poem about being in a rotten mood. It's nice to know you can be literary even when you're grumpy.

"I'm feeling cross. I'm feeling mean. I'm jumpy as a jumping bean." You can't get much moodier than that.

Of course, listening to that "homework" poem a billion times might have something to do with it.

Still, it's nice to know that some things still rhyme in family time.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.