RIVER CITY JOURNAL: ONE MAN'S TRASH CAN BE ANOTHER DUFFER'S GOLF COURSE

The first physical evidence of the new downtown golf course would only cost a few dollars. Maybe the county can help.

Although the night air in these parts has turned mercifully cool in the last days of August, it is still possible to accumulate a trickle of sweat in the small of your back at midday, if you happen to be outdoors for any reason.

For some, this is ideal golf weather. I am not in that camp. Except for a couple of friendly forays, my golf this summer has pretty much been limited to further dreaming about the downtown golf course.

What? You've already forgotten? Or given up?

Come on. You're made of sterner stuff than that. Now is the time to stand up and be counted among the many -- well, two that I know of -- supporters of the grand scheme to bring golf to the banks of the mighty Mississippi, courthouse and floodwall notwithstanding.

Some of you with decent memories know all about the golf course and how its vision has expanded over the months. Originally, the course was going to be limited to the grounds of the Common Pleas Courthouse, providing both rugged terrain and sweeping vistas within a few steps of each other.

Over time, as with all great ideas, the golf course has been expanded to include the vacant property along the floodwall north of downtown, as well as a challenging midriver green on a passing barge. The devil is in the details, but I continue to remain confident the wherefores and whatnots can be worked out.

I say this because I continue to get encouragement from some of you. By now, you ought to know that if you say anything at all positive about my golf course scheme, it will only inspire me to think of even more possibilities.

For example, news that the university will take over the former seminary grounds -- whose river view rivals that of the downtown courthouse -- is exceptionally good news. What with dancing and theater and music and art and museums, it is patently obvious that at least one hole of the downtown golf course should be somewhere on the grounds within sight of the majestic river.

By the way, this golf course needs a name. Calling it the "downtown golf course" doesn't have much zip.

I suggest that henceforth all references to the project should use the following moniker: The World's Greatest Downtown Golf Course.

There is a precedent.

In Topeka (capital of the great state of Kansas, in case your geography deficiency is exceeded only by your golf handicap) has a zoo.

A small zoo.

A very small zoo.

It does boast a rain forest inside a geodesic dome, much like the Climatron at the Missouri Botanical Garden in St. Louis. Some other time I'll tell you about the fire that nearly destroyed this indoor rain forest.

Some marketing genius decided years ago that the image of the Topeka zoo would be elevated if it had a proper name. So the official name is the World Famous Topeka Zoo.

Now there's zip for you.

My planning for the World's Greatest Downtown Golf Course was rekindled this week, thanks to a visit from Richard Esicar, who, it turns out, is a big fan of the park surrounding the Common Pleas Courthouse -- and a supporter of the downtown golf course idea.

Rich and his wife occasionally pick up a sandwich somewhere and sit on my favorite park bench, the one near the east courthouse entrance overlooking downtown and with an unobstructed river view, to have lunch. One purpose of his visit was to point out that there are no trash containers in the courthouse park. And any golfer knows that golf courses have trash containers at every tee box.

Some golfers use these trash containers to deposit beverage cans or crumpled cigarette packages or empty chip bags. Personally, I usually manage to leave an empty ball box at just about every tee, having lost the contents of the previous box on the previous hole. This tells you something.

But back to the missing trash containers at the World's Greatest Downtown Golf Course.

We need 'em.

If nothing else, folks like Rich and myself, who enjoy the park and sometimes need a trash can, are entitled to this public service.

I suggest that the Cape Girardeau County Commission, guardians of the courthouse park (and they do a fine job, I might add), should take up this matter and appropriate $30 or $40 toward the first permanent fixture of the golf course.

As usual, I think such a generous act would entitle the commissioners, current and future, to a waiver of all green fees, once the golf course is up and running.

What do you say, county commissioners? Can we do this? If so, please put the first trash can near the bench at the stop of the steps, an area known by downtown golfers as No. 1 tee box.

Thanks, commissioners, for any help you can give.

~R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.